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Tell a joke or few! - Printable Version

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RE: Tell a joke or few! - Robby - 05-21-2014

I'll sell mine off over here:
Six beers in a night and you better not drive.
Spoiler below!

Six pussies in a night and you've done all the driving you need.



RE: Tell a joke or few! - Nice - 05-21-2014

you're so stupid, you sleep with a measuring tape to see how long you sleep

RE: Tell a joke or few! - Macgyverthehero - 05-21-2014

Trekkies (fans of star trek) would get this joke:

Spoiler below!
The bartender says "We don't serve Tachyons."

A Tachyon walks into the bar.


RE: Tell a joke or few! - Daemian - 05-22-2014

Superman
Spoiler below!

Superman is flying around, horny, looking for boobies, then he sees the wonder woman laying on her roof, naked, hot and moaning!
'Wow, this is my chance' he says 'with my super speed I can go fast, do her in a second, and fly away as fast as I can! She'll never know what happened'
Then he goes, BAM!, in 1 second, and flies away.

'Woo what was thaat!?' she says, and the invisible man that was over her says 'Ooh I don't know girl, but my ASS hurts like shit!!"


Bar
Spoiler below!

A drunk guy walks into a bar, takes a drink, turns around and says "Everybody in this bar is a god damn mother fuc**!!"
A black guy stands up and says angry "me too?", "yes!" then punches the drunk guy.

The next day the guy returns, walks into the bar, takes a drink and says "Everybody in this damn bar is a mother fu**er!" Then points to the black guy and says "Except this guy here."
The black guy stands up, and punches the guy anyways... "Nobody discriminates me."

I don't think the last one was offensive at all, I can remove it if you want.

RE: Tell a joke or few! - 7heDubz - 05-22-2014

How would you guys feel about dark humor?
Dead babies, Holocaust, and/or (but not limited to) 9/11 jokes.

RE: Tell a joke or few! - Froge - 05-22-2014

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks: "Does everyone want beer?"

The first logician replies "I don't know."
The second logician replies "I don't know."
Spoiler below!
The third logician replies "Yes."


RE: Tell a joke or few! - VaeVictis - 05-22-2014

Guy goes to a fancy party, but the guard at the door stops him and says, 'Hey, this is black tie only.'
So the guy looks around, grabs a black power cord, ties it around his neck,and goes back.
The guard says:
Spoiler below!
'Alright, just don't start anything.'


RE: Tell a joke or few! - 7heDubz - 05-22-2014

A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football (soccer to EU people I assume) game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench... After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!" Hel-LLLO! It's only 25 cents!

RE: Tell a joke or few! - Froge - 05-22-2014

(05-22-2014, 03:49 AM)I AM THE WIWWMSTER Wrote: football (soccer to EU people I assume) game.

*americans

RE: Tell a joke or few! - Tiger - 05-22-2014

(05-22-2014, 04:55 AM)Froge Wrote:
(05-22-2014, 03:49 AM)I AM THE WIWWMSTER Wrote: football (soccer to EU people I assume) game.

*americans

I think Wiww was making a joke. He's talking about american football, there are no quarterbacks in football(Soccer)