Hello! This custom story is about a man... just read the description in-game ;d
It's not particularly based on a story. There's both funny and creepy "scares".
Please write whatever you want! I'm not afraid of being flamed or be given criticism. Prepare to be answered stupidly if you ask me stupid questions.
PS. The guy at the end doesn't know the lyrics for the song :pPp
Dun dun dun, prepare for tips/criticism! As usual, I'll play this, and have this window open the whole time, and write my thoughts as I go along.
---------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler below!
- While dropping this into my custom_stories directory, I noticed that there are map_cache files. You should delete these, as they'll reduce filesize.
- Description and background picture aren't too shabby.
- May want to include an introduction sequence so as not to just drop the player into the game.
- You'll want to have a boxlight in your map, so there aren't areas of complete blackness
- I notice there's no music from the start.
- My goodness. I shattered the door with the crowbar. I must be the Hulk!
- I like that you were consistent in putting flies around the body pieces. However, you could improve this by putting the fly sound in.
- I notice some light leaking through the wall. If it helps, I went down the hallway and am in the room on the left.
- Went in the room on the right. I REALLY want my lantern so I can see.
- Waitwaitwait...just went back down to the door I started at. It's labelled the basement door. How did I get into the building?
- "Leave my fucking house..." Well, that was certainly interesting. Guess my guy is just so rebellious, cause I can't leave!
- The door I entered from was different than the door I just passed through.
- Why is the guy who is telling me to leave want me to break his breakable wall?
- Still no lantern. I'm under the impression that I missed it. Though I thought I searched every room as well as I could. Perhaps make the lantern more obvious.
- Common, common mistake. When using Cellarbase, be sure to put a welder between all wall pieces.
- Bedroom in the basement? Why?
- Alright. You got me. When exiting the bedroom (grunt was wandering about, of course) I looked the wrong way. I peered outside the room, heard the chase music, turned to the other side and the grunt was there. Made me jump.
- Kitchen in the basement? Alrighty.
- lol..."seriously...leave my house now."
- I find there's a lacking sense of continuity here...The grunt runs into the room, and vanishes with no trace of where he went.
- Dammit, jumpscare statue....you're in my way!
- Should put welders between castlebase walls as well. It's less noticeable than with cellarbase, but the same concept applies.
- This map has a boxlight!! That makes me happy.
- The closet opening. It's subtle. I like it.
- It's obvious that when you got to this point in your custom, you got better at mapping. Not a bad thing! It means you're improving.
- I see no sense to your little balcony area. How would one get up there if the castle weren't in a state of disrepair?
- Bahah, a "That awkward moment" Well, that totally removes any seriousness to this story.
- Yay freedom!
- Hahaha, love the outro. That's amusing.
---------------------------------------------------------------
All in all, it wasn't too bad. I saw no clipping. The ending removes all seriousness, the lighting could be better, as with the mapping itself. I've seen worse, though, so don't worry about that. There is a definite improvement in your last map. Keep it up.
(01-24-2012, 05:31 PM)Obliviator27 Wrote: Dun dun dun, prepare for tips/criticism! As usual, I'll play this, and have this window open the whole time, and write my thoughts as I go along.
---------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler below!
- While dropping this into my custom_stories directory, I noticed that there are map_cache files. You should delete these, as they'll reduce filesize.
- Description and background picture aren't too shabby.
- May want to include an introduction sequence so as not to just drop the player into the game.
- You'll want to have a boxlight in your map, so there aren't areas of complete blackness
- I notice there's no music from the start.
- My goodness. I shattered the door with the crowbar. I must be the Hulk!
- I like that you were consistent in putting flies around the body pieces. However, you could improve this by putting the fly sound in.
- I notice some light leaking through the wall. If it helps, I went down the hallway and am in the room on the left.
- Went in the room on the right. I REALLY want my lantern so I can see.
- Waitwaitwait...just went back down to the door I started at. It's labelled the basement door. How did I get into the building?
- "Leave my fucking house..." Well, that was certainly interesting. Guess my guy is just so rebellious, cause I can't leave!
- The door I entered from was different than the door I just passed through.
- Why is the guy who is telling me to leave want me to break his breakable wall?
- Still no lantern. I'm under the impression that I missed it. Though I thought I searched every room as well as I could. Perhaps make the lantern more obvious.
- Common, common mistake. When using Cellarbase, be sure to put a welder between all wall pieces.
- Bedroom in the basement? Why?
- Alright. You got me. When exiting the bedroom (grunt was wandering about, of course) I looked the wrong way. I peered outside the room, heard the chase music, turned to the other side and the grunt was there. Made me jump.
- Kitchen in the basement? Alrighty.
- lol..."seriously...leave my house now."
- I find there's a lacking sense of continuity here...The grunt runs into the room, and vanishes with no trace of where he went.
- Dammit, jumpscare statue....you're in my way!
- Should put welders between castlebase walls as well. It's less noticeable than with cellarbase, but the same concept applies.
- This map has a boxlight!! That makes me happy.
- The closet opening. It's subtle. I like it.
- It's obvious that when you got to this point in your custom, you got better at mapping. Not a bad thing! It means you're improving.
- I see no sense to your little balcony area. How would one get up there if the castle weren't in a state of disrepair?
- Bahah, a "That awkward moment" Well, that totally removes any seriousness to this story.
- Yay freedom!
- Hahaha, love the outro. That's amusing.
---------------------------------------------------------------
All in all, it wasn't too bad. I saw no clipping. The ending removes all seriousness, the lighting could be better, as with the mapping itself. I've seen worse, though, so don't worry about that. There is a definite improvement in your last map. Keep it up.
I hope the note at the end answered alot of your "why and how" questions. About the lantern, it's actually in the very beginning in the shelf. It's hard to miss but i understand, it happens. And the mapping isn't great. I lose patience fast and there's not too much to choose from regarding details and such.
The story wasn't thoughtout. I just ran with it and figured out what i would do as i was making the map
I don't know everything about the editor unfortunately, but i'll hopefully improve with detailing and "scaring"
Thank you for this post though! I like it!
EDIT: btw, what is clippers, if i might ask
(This post was last modified: 01-25-2012, 12:09 AM by rallelol.)
(01-24-2012, 07:07 PM)rallelol Wrote: EDIT: btw, what is clippers, if i might ask
Clipping is a very ugly, anti-immersive thing that happens in bad maps. If you want to see what it looks like, set down two planes with different textures in the exact same area. The computer doesn't know which texture to present, so it flips between the both of them.
Search
Member List
IRC
Help
Big P's House - Custom Story
many scary parts, great! (y)