This is the custom story that I enjoyed the most out of what I have played so far. It is of very good quality and has a professional feel. It has very good level design and detail - only a few things feel out of place. The story has depth. The puzzles are very interesting. There is much to say about the good parts. But, of course, it has it's flaws. I will try to be very critical in giving my feedback, since this custom story is of such quality. Some "problems" might only make sense to me, but I am trying to be as objective as possible.
I'll start with a problem that others have encountered: the lack of autosaves. Many things can go wrong while playing (not necessarily bugs). Having to replay the whole game up to a point is demotivating, and many might not want to do that and give up, missing a lot of this mod's awesomeness. I also ended up replaying some parts of the game because of certain bugs.
Next, I'll try to comment things as I have encountered them in-game, both bugs and other issues...
Spoiler below!
-The music at the very beginning, when I realize I'm locked in, is good, but it suddenly gains intensity inappropriately just a few seconds before hearing some more strange sounds outside. It should be timed better with the sounds.
-When I opened the door to the guest hall, I immediately saw the message (something like "Where are all the guests?") before even realizing I actually was in the guest hall. It probably would have been better if the message appeared after or just before the flashback with the sounds of people talking (as I descended the stairs).
-The barrels in the store room are too obvious. They stand out the way they are positioned and I could find the lever way too easy.
-I could skip opening the door of the desk in the room nearby by picking the object inside through the small crack in the door. Not much of a problem tough, and I see it often in mods.
-The moment when I entered the basement and the cogs appeared out of nowhere to block the way back was out of place. I felt like it reduced some of the story's mystery prematurely. I could immediately realize I had to deal with a supernatural machine.
-The second puzzle in the basement (one with U.D.U) created a confusion with the "engine 1". I could only associate it with the numbered valves in the room with the first puzzle. Took a while to realize it had something to do with the steam pipes (since they weren't numbered). They only seemed to be part of the environment.
-The music in the first encounter with the monster (when I saw him at the end of the hall in which the cells of my wife and the lord are) seemed out of place to me. That Penumbra sound gave me the impression there was some dog creature around.
-The random scare in the ceiling of the laboratory seemed out of place (when the second steel grate pops up and you hear the monster). It had no actual sense (like many other brilliant scares had, especially in the first part of the game).
-The flashback through the dead guy's eyes is a great moment, but it was very confusing at first and I only got it's meaning in a second playthrough. It just seems to take place randomly, with no warning. I actually thought it was happening for real and that I fell to the ground out of fright. Maybe you could have done this like one of the flashbacks in the original game: when Daniel remembers picking up the orb (the flashback takes place as he picks up the note). By the way, this was the most intense moment in the game!
-Unfortunately, it was one of those situations where death is an easy way out. And since the monster is well scripted, it's hard to sneak past first try. It felt too easy to just walk away after dying, since the monster did not reappear. The player misses that stressful moment when he has to sneak right pass the monster (I actually did that since I had to replay that part).
-The part when I had to choose who to save is another brilliant moment in this custom story. Excellent use of illusion of choice and moral decision! Only thing out of place is that, if I choose to save the lord, that "demon spawn" still appears in the cell of my wife (and I might miss it).
-The instruction at the machines in the Zeppelin should be available to see later (I know this is a feature you added later). I didn't manage to read them completely and it turned out difficult. Also, the fact that the "left-right" machine displayed "Out of order" even after I activated both mechanisms was confusing.
-In a second playthrough, after finishing the Zeppelin puzzle, I didn't see all the "demon spawns" at once as I opened the door, hence that scare moment was unusual. Not sure what went wrong there. Once again, great "puzzle", if you can call it that. But it involved a lot of death, and it became rather frustrating. Maybe you could have used some other kind of punishment for failure instead of physical damage?
-The lord's note, that explained where to place the rod, was confusing. It mentioned I had to place it "behind the big barrel", but there are 3 big barrels in the room with 10 pillars.
-I had a strange bug with the mattress/blanket in the room with 10 pillars. When I picked it up, it disappeared and a strange texture appeared across half of the whole room. I've seen problems with mattresses in other custom stories before.
-At the puzzle with the cannon, I found the rock in the storeroom before seeing the cannon (so it made little sense). The cannon looks quite unusual with with cogwheels as wheels. I encountered a very unusual bug when I picked up the powder. All sound in-game suddenly stopped. Luckily, it came back to normal after I exited and continued the game. I missed the scare in the next room. I actually managed to load that part somehow, and only in the third try did I realize what was the reason for my reaction. It would have been better if you did something like the scare in the room with 10 pillars, where the player's view is forced. Also, firing the cannon should have been a bit more dramatic, in my opinion.
-The chase after the room with the note with instructions for the ritual seemed too easy to me, and the danger ended too abruptly after it.
-The room with the dead workers seemed artificial to me: too many bodies just tossed around, too much of that strange red goo, the red fog.
-I got stuck in the sewers quite a while because I couldn't see the rock (funny that I also confused it with a moldy bread just like someone else who posted here). After finding it, I threw it to the wall without clearing it, it fell in the water and clipped through the floor. Had to replay that part.
-The encounter with the brute, as I was headed to the circle was unusual because it popped out of nowhere in my back, even though I closed the door behind me. Also, pacing was a bit off there (more on that later).
-Using the bible was confusing, I didn't realize how to use it. I actually carried it all the way to the circle, and when the monsters appeared all around I actually held it in my hands... it was funny, I felt like I could control them!
I also have some general comments on the whole custom story:
-I liked your subtle use of macabre in most of the story, tough there where I few parts that didn't seem right at all: starting with a torn hand (at the steam bulkhead door), random skull in the ceiling of the laboratory, the excessive amount of bodies of workers...
-Finally, a custom story with great pacing! The first level was silent, with few scares, then the atmosphere started to build up. It was a very tense experience as a result. The only part that did not have good pacing was the part with the rooms before the sewer (right after chase) and the sewer itself, since I lost almost all sense of danger in that environment (it might have been because I got stuck).
-I'd also like to mention difficulty. This was the first story that seemed to have a good balance of oil, tinderboxes and laudanum for me (all others, including original game, had way too much). I ran out a few times, but it was ok. There were too many sanity potions tough. Only used one, and just because I knew I had too many. You could have made the chase and other monster encounters more difficult, since mods are only played by seasoned Amnesia fans who know how to quickly run in terror from a monster.
-I liked the female voice acting very much. The lord, tough, had a strange accent for a studied man, and the demon sounded to odd for me. Anyway, it was great to hear original voice acting!
I hope this has been helpful in any way, and not just a bunch of boring text. I think your custom story should be more known, so I'll recommend it to others. I hope to see more from you. And thank you for this incredible experience!
(This post was last modified: 01-05-2012, 03:01 AM by Leu Radu.)
That's the first true feedback of my game. I'm grateful, that you spend a while to write this text, because
it's really helpful to me! Actually I read all of this, and I noticed that there's a lot of bugs with entitiy proper placement - as the skull in the ceiling of labolatory, and autosaves. A lot of people are complaining about this, especially when they got killed by the monster.
Huh, well... So what do I say? That's my first custom story ever, so I'm prepared for criticism - but only in order to improve my scripting/editing skills!
So, you guys gave me a nice lesson of modding, and I promise to take into account all of your suggestions
Well, be ready fo next CS - but I not promise to release it until May/June, because I'm passing my maturity exams this year, which are really important to me.
Guess who had "Living machine" idea first? Ha?!
Me babe, ME!
Of course, I'm proud that this idea is good enough!
Anyway - I'm planning to make a continuation of my game basing on "Amnesia: A machine for pigs".
I can't wait to see new models and entities!
It's something like "steampunk" - YAY!
The idea itself of a machine possessed by a demon is quite nice. It reminded me Stephen King's "the Mangler" short story idea, no matter if you know it or not. But I have to say that you sold the whole intrigue too early. I can explain that a little bit. At first you're telling me the story in such a way, that I think and imagine some kind of a steam-machine-robot. And as a player I presume that I'll have to turn down that machine. As a result it's a BIG turning point, when you're telling me, that everything is not about some kind of a steam-machine-robot, but all is about a f**king demon. You have to make that turning point extremely unexpected. Now it's not. Now you're selling me that at the Laboratory. First, too early. Second, not the best way to make a turning point through the note.
Another bad thing is the rhythm of the development of the story. Proportionally the time I spent here and there (I mean different levels) is not well-thought-out. For example, proportionally the time the player spends at the Laboratory is a lot shorter than it should be. That's the first place where I meet my enemy directly, but the time I spent on a new type of gameplay was just about a minute. And contrary the time I spent on expectations at previous levels and puzzles was something about an hour. It's incorrect proportions. And there's a lot of such a rhythmical mistakes.
Anyway, besides some critics, your CS is really enjoyable. And that's what is most important. It's a good CS, it's not a bad or stupid one. It's just a little bit sad that it could be a lot better I hope you will understand that I'm giving all these critics only because in general I did love your CS. So don't get me wrong. My congrats! Generally you got your win. Really. And thanks for your efforts, because I got my enjoyment
(This post was last modified: 11-20-2012, 10:12 PM by Alex Ros.)
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