[WIP] Moghrub's Tale

[OriginalUsername]

Moghrub's tale

This is my first FC, named: 'Moghrub's tale'.

Your father is a famous explorer who has been searching for the Moghrub's tomb. Moghrub was a god of wealth. It was said he owned a great amount of silver, gold and diamonds. Everyone said he was a fool looking for such a myth but he kept going. He left, going after a strong lead coming from Russia. He said he'd return in 30 days.. That was 43 days ago. You sent out a team to look for him but with no success.
You started doing research about Moghurb yourself and found a prophecy about a man who traded his family for eternal wealth. The prophecy also told you the man went to Russia, around the same place your father went. You thought it was just a story and moved on. But the prophecy was real and you have to stay alive long enough to stop it.

Screenshots

Spoiler below!

Features:

- Multiple endings
- No cheap jump scares
- An good looking, scary environment
- Custom sounds, music, entities, and much more!

Progress:

1st map - 100%
2nd map - 100%
3rd map - 100%
4th map - 100%
5th map - 100%
6th map - 78%
7th map - 12%
8th map - 0%
9th map - 0 %

Voice actors

- Bunnypoppop
- xPICKLEMONSTER
- Foxfyre Recluse
- E House

[PutraenusAlivius]

I have to say a few things;
Naming it "The locked door" isn't a good custom story name.
Story matters. Why do you have to safe your father? How come Mark knew all hell breaks loose or whether his father gone? What is in the content of the tomb? Who's tomb is it? Using these, the player will got mysterious things...
Also, on your second screenshot....

Spoiler below!

USE A POINTLIGHT, DAMMIT!

[OriginalUsername]

I have to say a few things;
Naming it "The locked door" isn't a good custom story name.
Story matters. Why do you have to safe your father? How come Mark knew all hell breaks loose or whether his father gone? What is in the content of the tomb? Who's tomb is it? Using these, the player will got mysterious things...
Also, on your second screenshot....

Spoiler below!

USE A POINTLIGHT, DAMMIT!

I understand, and I'll try to rewrite most of it. I still want to keep most of it a secret though. I've been thinking about another, better name, so I'll change that soon. Thanks for your feedback!

EDIT: New story and better screenshots, thank you!

[FlawlessHappiness]

I like the second screenshot, though, it's a little bit dark in the corners. Try play with the light a bit more.

Also the texture scaling should be turned down a bit.

[OriginalUsername]

I like the second screenshot, though, it's a little bit dark in the corners. Try play with the light a bit more.

Also the texture scaling should be turned down a bit.

Changed the screenshots again. And note it wont be that light. It'll be better in the actual CS

[Brosive]

When did you start working on this custom story?

[OriginalUsername]

When did you start working on this custom story?

About 4 days ago. I was just too impatient to create this topic to get tips and that stuff

[OriginalUsername]

Thread update!

+ New screenshot!

[Kreekakon]

I think this custom story looks like it has potential, especially if you can pull off what I hope will be an interesting plot

[OriginalUsername]

I think this custom story looks like it has potential, especially if you can pull off what I hope will be an interesting plot

I can't do anymore than give it my best shot