Experi-mental; my first story/map

**Jakeorch** · 03-21-2011, 06:23 AM

Hello everyone! I just started using HPL and scripting a little less than a week ago, and am addicted!

This is my first demo for my story "Experi-mental" (name could change at any time though lol)

I don't want to give too much away, but it involves a student staying in his professor's mansion to make use of his massive private library.

I'd love any constructive criticism etc.

Thanks!

v1.1 - 3/26/11: Added more rooms, fixed grammar/spelling, and other issues. Right now things are very spread out and not connected puzzle-wise, or story-wise. But since I plan on building, then adding more puzzles & quests, they will come later. I mainly want feedback on building/design. I'm sure I've missed some welders in corners etc. Would love it if you point those out, too! Thanks!

Quick note; the botany study (you'll see which one it is) is currently not where it should be. But I wanted it connected the the main hall for now. Where it is now doesn't make much sense window-wise, but later it will. Smile

Still haven't taken out the Sanity Boosts. (I know they're a bit too much)

**Droopy** · 03-21-2011, 07:24 AM

Very big, you've certainly got a lot done.
I really liked exploring the levels, especially when I got to the library area.

Excellent level design, I'm excited to see how you are going to implement more game play mechanics Smile

The only things I noticed were minor glitches with walls and (the tiniest amount) of awkward placement of some unmovable objects, although I feel bad pointing these out because I'm certain you are already planning on smoothing things out and chances are you already noticed them.

I am very surprised at how well done this is though, especially for someone who has started hpl editor and scripting in less than a week!

Looking forward to seeing your progress on this promising project Smile

**Streetboat** · 03-21-2011, 07:32 AM

Your level design is great, especially in the library, I loved exploring that place. Placing all those books must have been a pain, but that whole area was amazingly believable. Well done with that.

However, the believability gets lost when the actual layout of the house makes very little sense, and there are spelling and grammar issues abound in your notes, especially considering this is supposed to be a student studying under a highly regarded professor for a month. Also there were some floating decals in the beginning and misaligned walls around the main stairs. Basically, if you can make the entire story be as well done as the library, it'll be great! Smile

**Jakeorch** · 03-21-2011, 07:43 AM

Thank you for the comments!

Yea I know there's a few structural problems, such as misaligned walls. I guess I got in a hurry on some parts. As you can tell, I spent the bulk of my time on the library. Everything is still a work in progress, and I will iron out all of the minor details, such as spelling grammar etc..

Streetboat, I see what you mean by the house not making sense (a dungeon that goes underground on the second floor? I'm glad you pointed that out. Same with some window placements) I will probably move the library to the first floor.

How many changes do you guys think I should make before re-uploading the story?

Thanks again!

**Ghostflame** · 03-21-2011, 09:49 AM

Was very nice exploring this one, and, again, the library is fantastic, i spent like 20 minutes in there admiring your work, must've taken a butt load of time to do *bows*. Anyway, this may only be me, but you know that purple flash when you progress? I found it to be doing that very often and was a minor distraction, just throwing that out there. Fix the grammar and make the maps structure abide by the laws of physics etc and I think we might have a nice new map coming. Great job.

**Jakeorch** · 03-21-2011, 01:47 PM

Thanks! I originally had some things indifferent orders and had some parts where sanity was pretty low, but when they got moved around the sanity books flashes became redundant. Is there a way to even give a sanity boost without the flash?

Thanks again!

**Streetboat** · 03-21-2011, 08:18 PM

Maybe using SetPlayerSanity(float afSanity); will do it without the flash? And you have control over exactly how much sanity you want to give, as well. Smile

**Nye** · 03-21-2011, 08:23 PM

(03-21-2011, 08:18 PM)Streetboat Wrote: Maybe using SetPlayerSanity(float afSanity); will do it without the flash? And you have control over exactly how much sanity you want to give, as well.

You have learnt well, my apprentice :3

**Streetboat** · 03-21-2011, 10:00 PM

[Image: blushing_smiley_tshirt-d235809604997927501trdy_210.jpg]

**Jakeorch** · 03-22-2011, 12:01 AM

I'm having a really difficult time fixing the walls on the staircase in the entry all area.... It's difficult with those stairs because I don't think they were meant to be used that way... no matter what I do something doesn't line up... Might have to rethink the stairs.

Edit: I'm actually rethinking the entire main entry hall... I tried for hours to find ways to make the stairs flawless, but it's just not happening. I think it's time for me to redesign the room!