The Unexpected Part 1 (Demo) - Custom Story

**Dizturbed** · 06-28-2011, 02:29 AM

WHATSUP??
Well ill tell you what's up...
A Custom story i just made, well a demo.
Well lets cut the crap.

DOWNLOAD LINK:
http://www.mediafire.com/?q4rhdeh613fh66w

ENJOY IT!

-Dizturbed

Screenshot at attachment

**coop97** · 06-28-2011, 03:01 AM

I'll download it and try it out.
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Edit:
I just finished your custom story and I have one thing to say: It needs work. I'm not saying that it was bad; on the contrary, it was really good and I liked it. It's obvious that you understand the basic mechanics of how to make a custom story (i.e. scripting, mapping, story plot), but you need more work in the area of using them.

It seemed as if you were too eager in wanting to scare the player too quickly that many of the scares came off, to me, as cheesy. For example, the part in the basement where the dead body randomly appears right in front of you didn't really make sense. If you had the body lying in the corner of the room, knocked over barrels around it, and had the player have a panic attack when he sees it, that would be moderately frightening. You also need to add more subtle scares throughout the maps like papers randomly flying about, random footsteps that run away from you, and stuff like that.
The second is the mapping. There were lots of parts on the maps that needed improvement. The ceiling in "The Rooms" was missing and and there were lots of texture bugs, meaning that two static objects were put partially inside each other. Using welders in the corners of room would be better than having each wall sticking out by a foot or more on the other side.
The last thing is the level design. It needs to be more believable. In "The Rooms," what would be the point of having a door and then also having passageway, located next to the door, in the wall leading to the same room. The Level design on "The Basement" was great though (even though there was only a small portion of it).

Just keep working on your custom story and keep trying to fix the mistakes and/or bugs that pop up, and you'll make a great one that people will like.
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Also, you might want to move this to the section labeled "Showcase." That's where most of the community created content goes.

**Dizturbed** · 06-28-2011, 03:22 AM

Thanks! How do i do that?

**Tanshaydar** · 06-28-2011, 03:34 AM

I did that for you Smile

I'll send the bill to your address Tongue

**Dizturbed** · 06-28-2011, 03:38 AM

U do that! Hehe, thanks tho! Big Grin

Well, this is not a penumbra mod :p can i haz amnesia showcase? Rolleyes

Thank you very much for the constructive feedback, I Appreciate it! And yes there was a couple of script mistakes and texture bugs, and that was probably bcuz this was my first custom story Smile

but yet again thank you for playing it, and I will be working on it!

**Dark Knight** · 06-28-2011, 10:08 AM

The basement part was freaky one!

seems rusty key - is useless.
some places too dark..
i can see through ceiling

anyway, very nice

**Tenno** · 06-28-2011, 01:04 PM

Loved it, it had a certain charm which appealed to me. It was one of the more humorous custom stories, which you don't see a lot of. The beginning was nice, very realistic and exactly what I would do in that situation Tongue

, but the scares came WAY too early, barely 2 minutes into the story and I collapse from insanity. I really enjoyed the way you obtain the second key Tongue

Short, funny and enjoyable, I can't wait to play more Big Grin

**Dizturbed** · 06-28-2011, 03:26 PM

(06-28-2011, 10:08 AM)Dark Knight Wrote: The basement part was freaky one!

seems rusty key - is useless. = yea i guess i forgot to delete that one :/
some places too dark.. = yea they may be, this was my first custom story so, its not the best :p
i can see through ceiling = Aww man, sry ;(

anyway, very nice

thaaaanks, really, and ye the scripts was to bad, but i was so eager for sares bcus this is the forst proper map i've tried to make Smile

but thanks for the feedback, itmeans alot! Big Grin

**Nye** · 06-28-2011, 05:37 PM

I wonder where you got the name from O.o

This demo was really good by the way, I loved almost everything; it was just really short, and I hope the final release is quite a lot longer Smile

**Dizturbed** · 06-28-2011, 10:10 PM

(06-28-2011, 05:37 PM)Nye Wrote: I wonder where you got the name from O.o

This demo was really good by the way, I loved almost everything; it was just really short, and I hope the final release is quite a lot longer

Haha, youknow! :p

Thank you very much! Im gonna work alot on the final release Smile