Mashed the window open with a chair (just took a giant swing at it). Went inside. Suicide note. Kind of sad. Found some oil, approached bed. Forced to look at a dead body that abruptly just disappeared. Did not like. Appeared cheap and wasn't scary. Would have preferred just the crying sound effect + sanity drain.
Found a lever in the desk, hard to pull but I managed. Got the bookshelf opened. When I approached the hole, the piano shut itself. Not scary again, because I think the effect is incomplete. It should occur when interacted with, and should probably create particle effects.
Did not like the mapping in the staircase heading down at all. It looks empty and bland. I would remove this area entirely and just have the level door.
Staircase
Spoiler below!
Fucking creepy bro. I loved this. It was like SCP (the staircase one). I kept walking down, and I kept expecting a jump scare, but nothing happened. It also felt like something was chasing me, but nothing was. I really loved the effect. It was never ending, but it was still fun.
Why is there such a long staircase to climb down before this? That area was horrible, this area is awesome. Just delete that section.
Dungeon is unfinished. Not going to give feedback on it.
Overall, you have a good foundation for this story, but it is obviously incomplete and needs a lot of fine tuning. You need to work on:
- Billboards on windows
- Boxlighting your maps
- Sound effects around (like wind rushing, people crying, etc.)
- Less linearity (I like to explore around, give us the option to do so)
- Remove key puzzles. I don't mind like 2 or 3 of them. But you have them room by room. Really feels like handholding.
- Move that bookshelf a bit so it looks like you can crouch under it more easily.
- Add text to level doors so I know where I'm going.
- Maybe add an enemy that doesn't attack but walks around in the distance or so. To make the player more scared to advance.
- Less "forced" scares. Everytime a scare happens, you pan the camera to them. I would rather it be more natural. The scare happens, it makes a noise so that you know it happened, but then it's still rather like "Did that just happen? I don't know..." Make the player question himself.
- Thanks for not piling up jump scares. Appreciate that.
- Obviously if you tuned up on your scripting you can make effects that are more fluid and realistic.
Overall this is the best custom story demo I've played/reviewed on here. Thanks for sharing and good luck.