my first custom Story: The evil awakes

[failedALIAS]

now i get it?You all hates this map because the story makes no sence?

So many more reasons than that. I believe that you have little chance of creating any good custom stories (or maps) in the near (perhaps even far) future, not because you are an amateur, but because you have no artistic talent in writing and inducing fear. Your work makes me doubt that you even played the game Amnesia; then you would pick up the slightest respect for it's beauty in horror.
Play the better stories( Abduction, Followed by Death, and La Caza to name a few) so that you may grasp what it is that makes them wonderful.