SuccessfulALIAS

[Froge]

Before he knew it, the bars slammed shut in his face. failedALIAS crumpled to the floor.

"You've done it this time," Kman said in a very disappointed tone. "Lifetime sentence without parole. I didn't know it could be this bad."

ALIAS had fallen upon his knees. His hands gripped around the iron bars that would confine him to his cell until the day he drew his last breath. Tears began to well up in his eyes.

"You're the worst lawyer ever."

"Aww, don't give me that," Kman responded grumpily. He folded his arms and took a step back from the bars. "At least I saved you from the death sentence."

"I would've preferred that, to be honest." ALIAS slowly turned his head around, shifting his eyes towards a figure that lay tired and slumped upon a nearby bed. His cellmate was beginning to stir and would soon wake up.

"You have to get me out of here!" ALIAS yelled panickedly, jumping up and banging the bars of his jail cell with all his might. He did not want to stay a moment longer in the terrifying room.

"Woah, chill out man," Kman replied surprisingly calmly. "What's so bad about your cellmate?"

ALIAS flattened himself against the opposite wall of the room as the single bed upon which his now-awakened cellmate sat. This figure had dark, brooding eyes as well as a devilish grin upon his face. ALIAS began to hyperventilate in fear, sweat dripping down his forehead; his hands were tightly clenched into fists. He couldn't stop shuddering.

"Uh, ALIAS?"

"No...." His cellmate yawned and stretched his arms.

"S'up, ALIAS?" Chronofox asked in a calm tone of voice. "So what are you in here for?"

ALIAS rammed himself into the bars of the cell. "Help, Kman! Don't let him get to me!"

Kman shook his head. "What do you want me to try and do, break you out?" He chuckled. "This is a high security prison, man. You'd be caught in no time. Plus, I don't want to get thrown in there as well for trying to help you."

"You don't understand!" Tears streamed down ALIAS' eyes. He chanced a quick glance towards Chronofox, who was still calmly laying upon his bed, albeit in a rather subjective pose.

"Sorry, man. Some things can't be helped." Kman simply shrugged. "What's done is done. You're going to have to deal with your problems on your own."

ALIAS crumpled again to the floor, this time allowing his head to drop limply upon the ground. He grabbed at the prison bars and shook at them with all his might, prompting Kman to back a bit farther away from the cell. Once he had run out of all his energy, ALIAS let out a very heavy sight, and then struck the floor with his fists. He remained lying for a couple of minutes before finally sitting himself up straight against the wall.

There was silence in the room. Nobody spoke for a long while. Only the slight dragging of feet could be heard as Kman shuffled about uncomfortably.

"I'm glad you understand," Kman said at last to break the quiet and stifling tension in the room. He made a quick glance at his watch. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm scheduled to leave in about five minutes. Got any last words."

For a few seconds Kman thought that he heard heavy breathing coming from ALIAS. Chronofox did not say anything but rather continued to lie sheepishly on the bed. Then, moments later, ALIAS stood up and cast a rather ominous glare towards his lawyer.

"I need to tell you...the truth," ALIAS said.

Kman folded his arms. "What truth?"

"The truth of things," ALIAS continued. "The reason why I'm in here. It's not what you actually think."

"Hurry it up," Chronofox suddenly exclaimed. "As Kman said, you've got about five minutes."

A look of fear came over ALIAS' face as he wondered what Chronofox would do after five minutes were up. Nevertheless, he tried to remain as calm as possible so that he could tell his story.

"Listen carefully," he began.

The room was dark and gloomy, with only a very dim lantern on a table at the center of the room providing light. Two hooded figures sat in chairs at opposite ends of the round table. One of them leaned forward to speak up.

"Yes, yes, he's been locked up for nearly fourteen years now," ALIAS whispered. His eyes constantly shifted about as he spoke, as if to make sure that nobody was watching or evesdropping upon their conversation. "You know who I'm talking about."

The other figure had distinctive long red hair falling in front of his face. It was obvious to ALIAS who he was.

"Ain't it your brother?" Traggey responded.

"SuccessfulALIAS." The name seemed to evoke utter hatred and disgust within failedALIAS, who grimaced even as he pronounced it. "My evil twin brother who was destined to be infinitely more successful than I. So, of course, when he was young, I locked him up in my attic. He's stayed there for all this time, but now has finally escaped."

"So that mofo gon' come and kill you now?"

ALIAS gave Traggey a strange look, wondering why he was speaking in such a strange dialect. Actually, Traggey had been talking like that ever since he returned from his 'vacation', but it was of little concern to ALIAS at the moment.

"Uh, no, he's going to sue me. And I need a way to stop him."

"You gon' show him you a real nigga," Traggey replied.

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

Traggey had outlined two plans for ALIAS to follow, being the evil mastermind that he was. The first was very risky, but Traggey had calculated a 99.5% rate of success for someone as genius as failedALIAS (even though he was still less of a genius than SuccessfulALIAS). ALIAS was to commit the worst possible crime known to man, and then frame it upon his brother. But just in case that failed, Traggey had a backup ready as well.

"And what's the backup?" failedALIAS asked. In response, Traggey quickly handed him a small little black notebook and told ALIAS to keep it safe within his pocket at all times.

"Wait, so THAT'S why you're in jail?" Kman asked. "Because of that 0.5% chance of failure?"

"No, it's because SuccessfulALIAS had pro hacking skills," failedALIAS responded.

With Traggey's cooperation, failedALIAS had worked to create the absolute worst Amnesia Custom story humanly possible. Minutes after it had been released, three hundred and fifteen case of brain cancer were suddenly reported in people who had access to http://www.frictionalgames.com/forum/. The member who posted that custom story had the username SuccessfulALIAS and was hidden behind twenty seven proxies. Links to the custom story was shut down by moderators and all reports of its existence were permanently wiped from the Internet. Arrests were instantly demanded, and while SuccessfulALIAS had been the initial suspect, the clever genius quickly hacked and traced the account back to failedALIAS' computer.

The trial was very short. The death sentence was the initial condemnation, reduced to simply life in prison after Kman defended ALIAS with the case that at least it had a 9.9 rating, averaged out of eleven votes, on Moddb before the custom story was taken down. There were exactly eleven accounts banned that day.

Traggey has yet to be found.

"So what was your second plan?" Kman asked. There was about a minute left for ALIAS to tell his story.

Suddenly ALIAS cast his face downwards, and he began to chuckle quietly to himself. "Nobody needs to know," he responded in a rather apprehensive tone of voice.

Kman couldn't help but think that he was inexplicably beginning to hear some ominous latin chanting in the background.

"And that's because SuccessfulALIAS is already dead," ALIAS continued. "Say, Kman, may I borrow a writing utensil?"

"What for?"

"Please, Kman."

He was handed a pen through the bars of the jail cell.

ALIAS put the pen down through the pocket of his jeans, and he seemed to make the finger motions of writing down something.

"Like I said, nobody needs to know."

Kman shrugged. "Alright, then, I guess I'll leave now." As the lawyer turned around, he suddenly grasped at his heart before collapsing to the floor. Then there was a groan from Chronofox, and he fell down dead as well.

"Because with this new notebook," ALIAS whispered madly, taking it out of his pocket, "I will become the God of this new world!"