[Discussion] Is this storyline too corny?

[ClayPigeon]

Actually, I enjoyed start but when you went "DARK AND POWERFUL" it started to sound like a really bad fan fiction, no offence. It also seems like your the most important person, which I disagree with most of the time in stories, I would change it so that the fate of the village etc didn't depend on you, and remove the dark powerful old ones bit, replace that with a more realistic threat, such as crazed, ambitious nobles wishing to gain the land and keep as their own through her death, and removing the "you forgot why you were here" bit with something more akin to protecting the mistress, and surviving. That's my opinion, any way.

That's one of the reasons I'm always writing the plot before starting to work on the maps and the physical parts

And yeah, I did feel lost on the part of the "dark power", because it's kinda hard to think of something new with hundreds of CS's out there.
Anyways, please check changes in a few moments.

Alright I've edited the storyline abit.