My Novel

[failedALIAS]

well i shimmied on over to TURDFUCK and waved good-morning -- except not, cause I'm a fucking turtle, dumbshit. Instead bamboosing around like a mother-fucking boss, thinking turtle thoughts and that shit. Well I didn't get far on my way through the forest green, before being visually assaulted by Stov, the mentally retarded dip-cow. His belly drooped to the soddy grass, molesting it with unkept hair and beads of yellaish sweat. This acted as an anchor. Restricting his gross, god-teasing motions to a stationary seizure of tail whipping, leg flailing, eye twitch farts of movement. After a brief attempt at what might've been a head jerk, this gargantuan blob turned its eyes on mine.
"You want some of this?!" it bellowed. Its nose was batting up and down in aggression against that which it could not touch. After a minute or two of stillness, this sizematic fuck burped out an almost incomprehensible slur of "Huh, what, huh's" and quitting again to ceaselessness; taken over by the domestic swarm of flies inhabiting Stov. I took this as all being finished and turned to go. But as I slowly made my way out of sight, I heard a faint, "Nah bitch, didn't think so."