[WIP] Amnesia - The Cult is Alive

[JawlessWarrior]

I'm impressed with the general idea you have going on (the Lovecraft influence is very clear - not in a derivative sort of a way though). Still, I have some problems with it, which I will list here:

1. Personally I'd drop the whole [Data Expunged] thing. It's too reminiscent of SCP and really disconnects the reader (me, at least) from what's going on. Even if you have to use the whole theme of crossing out information that is too horrible you can do it in more subtle ways. I get the whole creating mystique thing and I fully encourage it, but the way you use this theme is too convenient and it feels completely transparent. You can only have the name of some strange Cthulhoid monster or the master plan behind the whatever accidentally smudged out so many times before it becomes distracting. You can certainly use it a few times to great effect but it is kind of your main literary device at this point and personally I'm not a fan of it.
2. The amount of imagination given to the different wings is more becoming of an infant than a storyteller. You could do this thing where the workers refer to such and such by nicknames, for example, the blueprint says Wing C (or Eastern wing or whatever you can think of) and the ignorant, superstitious workers refer to it as "The wing of horrors". Then after that the player finds out why. Having these simplistic and transparent names be the actual official names given to them by presumably the architect doesn't really appeal to me. Even if the building was designed by one of these cultists it would make more sense to name each wing after a separate god (since you have three evil ones, right?) or something along those lines.
   

I don't know, just random ideas. Do with them as you will. Otherwise I am loving the whole cult vibe and I agree with the other people here that this has immense potential.

Edit: Post deleted.
I believe I have corrected the problems you had. Sorry for the misunderstanding - thought you were saying that you don't like the fact that I removed data. I thought that the recurring phrase created a sense of power - who ever was doing it had enough control over the documents to completely block out data. Re-reading a few more times, however, it did get repetitive. Never played SCP, the game never interested me. The correlation was coincidence, but I'm glad you brought that up.