Fifty Shades of Bacon

[Alardem]

What is Fifty Shades of Bacon?

Back in 2012, Chronofrog, now known as Chronofrog started a new thread asking a question about the rules regarding posting fan fiction, to wich Traggey replied: "Uh, aslong as it's not some sick cross fiction porn stuff I believe you're just fine ^^". Robosprog then posted the following: "Alexander gently caressed Daniel's cheek, his naked, grey form... Shiit. Nevermind!!!" Well, one thing lead to another, and suddenly we had a full erotic-fanfiction-parody.

We named it Fifty Shades of Orb. It also had a good sequel called Fifty Shades of Orb II: Brute's Yearning. Several other attempts to revive it were made, but failed.

With this thread i seek to do a similar thing but with AMFP. Please don't screw this up since Fifty Shades of Orb is one of my fondest memories of this form and it would make me really happy if this turns out good.

DO NOT POST UNLESS YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO THE STORY

Now, on with the story! Special thanks to Deep One for giving me several useful ideas!

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I stand and look at myself in the mirror, penis in hand and my reflection grins at me and the pig's mouth is full of the sulphur mustards. "Vain fool", Mr Pig sneered, "Are you really so very different? Do you genuinely believe your works of evil are any greater than the rest of them? I said nothing, and starte tod gently caress the pig's cheek...

"Oh, yeees"!

"You are simply a weak pig, a product of his age, the same as any other. No, I have far bigger visions my dear..."

In that very moment I heard the phone ring. He lifted the receiver. At the other end he heard a dark voice...

"Hello Oswald. I want to play a game..."

Have fun!

"It is called 'Ride to Hell: Retribution'." The Machine declared in luxurious tones. "I do believe it is one of the finer products borne out of the hideous orgy of blood, rot and semen that is our mutual future." Little did Oswald know that the cold, heartless mechanical leviathan yearned to feel Mandus' warm, tender heart clasped within its deepest chambers.

Miles away, Lily, decayed long ago into papery skin stretched over musty bone, stirred in her eternal sleep. She-