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Work in progress Amnesia: City Of Souls
CarnivorousJelly Offline
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Posts: 1,196
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#9
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls

As daotir said, the majority of professionally written documents do not use personal reference (I, we, you, us, etc) unless absolutely necessary. Watch your capitals on proper nouns (I assumed Project M is the name, not just M) you missed a few capitals in the first part of the document.
In the spoilers is my attempt at re-wording it, feel free to disregard it :p
Spoiler below!

<edited based on what i3670 said>
By direction of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Project M will be terminated and the faculties will be sealed with all test subjects and equipment.Due to the threat of war, safety of the facility and security of critical information are at risk. As such, no one will be permitted to enter the facility or use the equipment.
The lockdown will be in effect as of July 6, 1938. Further detail on relocation of facility operators will be provided on a later date. Please inform the following employees that their services are no longer required for Project M:

<employees go here>

The employees will be provided necessary information through air mail via the commanding officer upon termination of their contracts. The health and security of former participants will continue to be monitored during the lockdown.

Information on the relaunching of Project M will be released when all perceived threats have subsided.

<I had a lot of practice writing formal essays and documents>


Aside from that, this looks like it has quite a potential! Looking forward to seeing the development c:

[Image: quote_by_rueppells_fox-d9ciupp.png]
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2013, 10:07 PM by CarnivorousJelly.)
10-27-2013, 08:16 PM
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Messages In This Thread
Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-26-2013, 11:06 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 10-26-2013, 11:19 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-26-2013, 11:31 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by WALP - 10-26-2013, 04:31 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-26-2013, 05:16 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by daortir - 10-26-2013, 06:24 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-26-2013, 06:50 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-27-2013, 01:24 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by CarnivorousJelly - 10-27-2013, 08:16 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-27-2013, 08:26 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 10-27-2013, 08:51 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by CarnivorousJelly - 10-27-2013, 09:51 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by TravelMuffin - 10-27-2013, 09:59 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 10-27-2013, 11:33 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-01-2013, 10:02 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by CarnivorousJelly - 11-01-2013, 11:53 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 11-02-2013, 01:04 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-02-2013, 01:31 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by CarnivorousJelly - 11-02-2013, 04:18 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-03-2013, 01:02 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-03-2013, 05:35 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 11-03-2013, 06:01 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-04-2013, 11:13 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by The chaser - 11-05-2013, 02:07 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Alex Ros - 11-05-2013, 02:15 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-05-2013, 03:32 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Gilligan's Hell - 11-05-2013, 07:18 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-09-2013, 01:10 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Amnesia Gamer - 11-09-2013, 12:18 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-09-2013, 04:13 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-10-2013, 04:41 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-10-2013, 07:50 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-12-2013, 05:26 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 11-12-2013, 05:40 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-12-2013, 05:46 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by CarnivorousJelly - 11-13-2013, 04:23 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Potato - 11-13-2013, 05:41 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-16-2013, 02:16 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by WALP - 11-16-2013, 03:06 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-17-2013, 11:05 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Xander512 - 11-21-2013, 08:24 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-21-2013, 12:47 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by The chaser - 11-21-2013, 09:05 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-21-2013, 10:06 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-24-2013, 01:46 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Xander512 - 11-24-2013, 07:27 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-24-2013, 12:07 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Xander512 - 11-25-2013, 06:05 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Gilligan's Hell - 11-25-2013, 06:51 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-25-2013, 07:25 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Xander512 - 11-25-2013, 08:32 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-27-2013, 04:31 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-27-2013, 07:42 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-27-2013, 10:20 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 11-28-2013, 08:05 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-01-2013, 04:41 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by WALP - 12-01-2013, 05:18 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Xander512 - 12-01-2013, 10:30 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-01-2013, 11:11 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-05-2013, 11:42 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-06-2013, 02:50 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-07-2013, 05:44 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-16-2013, 09:24 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 12-16-2013, 10:47 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-16-2013, 10:50 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by i3670 - 12-17-2013, 01:57 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 12-17-2013, 04:55 PM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by thomthom44 - 04-02-2014, 11:23 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by AGP - 04-03-2014, 08:35 AM
RE: Amnesia: City Of Souls - by Artyom - 04-05-2014, 10:16 AM



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