[WIP] A Forgotten Memory

[CarnivorousJelly]

STORY:

The year is 1906. You are an architect named Arthur Gregory. You have been hired by well-known author and former chemist, Harry Vreus, to renovate his newly bought house. It all went all went without a hitch until you went down to the Wine Cellar to check the workers' progress.

What did you find?

Fixed it for you:
Must-change is red
- the word 'noveller' does not exist - the proper word is author
- you forgot a couple of commas
- once you have introduced a character as the reader, refer to them as 'you' from then on.
- 'found' would not have been correct either way
Personal-preferences are green
- If you're going to use "you are" instead of "your name is", then it would be best to put the defining trait before their name
- You have sounds more proper than "you've", but I'm not sure if there's a reason for that
- Assuming that you (Arthur) is checking on how his plans are implemented by the construction workers, just maintains clarity.


There's probably more, but I'm tired and I still have a chemistry lab to write up.

Edit: My editing colour choices are a colour-blind person's worst nightmare.