Subterranea (Work in Progress - NEED FEEDBACK)

[Lyssa]

-snip-

That was not constructive critism. You may have raised valid points, sure, but all the talk about 'slapping him' and stuff is completely unecesary. If you want to good at critiquing things and giving decent feedback you should curb that, buddy.

Also bear in mind that the custom stories you find here are not designed to be scrutinized down to the last little detail. These issues you raise are unlikely to bother a normal player. We're not all playing it just to find stuff wrong with it.

A solid start, OP! Keep at it, I cant wait to see where this ends up.