Abduction Chapter 1

[Neotyguy40]

I was playing a couple of custom stories today, and when I played yours I couldn't even remember at what point I started. That means it was really long. It was perfect length for what a custom story should be. It took me about 2 and a half hours to play it through (I think, like I said I don't remember where I started). However, this is also a bad thing because it means you didn't focus on the story very much. I actually completely forgot what was going on after I entered the Atrium. I had to look into my notes to remind myself.

My suggestion would be to make a few points of the story forced onto the player, such as flash-backs or custom dialogue sounds (maybe similar to the monsters talking in Justine?).

There are some other poor sides of it, but keep in mind I am putting on my hyper-critic cap when I say these:

Spoiler below!

I don't know why, but people seem to love using cabinets as hiding spots in their custom story. Yours did not seem to change much in this aspect. Almost every single monster in the wings I was able to hide from in a cabinet, and I felt too safe in them. To fix this, I feel 2 changes should be made:

1. Get rid of some of the cabinets and replace them with things like bookshelves or wine racks. Something that doesn't seem repetitive. A room should not have 3-4 cabinets inside of it.
2. Early on, if you have a monster attack a cabinet with a player inside, it will give them a sense that they are still in danger if they do choose to hide in a cabinet. Not to mention it will make them think twice before going in.

The monsters were also very predictable. I remember seeing a chest in some room, and I thought to myself, "There is definitely an important object in there... A monster will come attack me when I grab what's inside, let me plan a place to hide."

Now I personally think that it would be a whole lot less predictable if monsters were scripted not by grabbing an object, but triggered when you enter a room or pass a certain spot in a hallway. I actually feel that monsters should never be scripted to appear when you pick up an object. It is very predictable.

Lastly, the monsters themselves didn't seem all that scary when they appeared. It could have been because the hiding spots were very noticeable when you enter a room (deeming them a safe spot). However, I think the monsters would be much more scarier if you had them just smash a couple things before they left. Maybe break some crates or a cabinet. Just give them some action to make them seem more dynamic. Make it seem like "We will smash this entire castle crate-by-crate to find you!"