Amnesia - problems with getting scared?

[Istrebitel]

I truly start to think that its too much spoiler here. I'll just pust whole post under it i think...

Spoiler below!

Came to prison, just entered the second part (in the hole), so far the storage room with rods for the elevator was much scarier for me. Since its pitch dark and i just was so scared that a monster would come and DO me i constructed a shelter out of boxes like in every room where there was a quest to do! And in one room, which goes out to a room with a long table, i had to sit and wait for the enemy to go for like 5 minutes. AND HE WOULDNT GO! I could hear him walking and the music was scary and i knew he's there. And then i went to pop up and he was walking there. And he wouldn't go away, so i had to sneak behind his back... but then he poofed away?

Really i start to kinda hate that! Every monster in the game just GOES AWAY. Despawns! You kinda KNOW that if you hid from a monster, he's gone forever. Even the prison one - FUCK that was scary when he bumped into me. But then - after i successfully hid from him in the starting room - he went away. And i KNEW he is gone! I KNEW i'm safe now until i encounter next monster, in which case i can just run back to the starting room, hide form him, rinse and repeat... It would be so damn more frightening when you'd knew that he is LURKING. He is STILL OUT THERE! You'd knew that you barely escaped one and then you bump into ANOTHER! FUCK! What do you do now? Run back - but you may have a second monster there! And as of now, its just "find a monster, make him despawn, find another, make him despawn".

I don't know guys... Maybe i am really "playing to win" this game too much? But how do i deny the obvious? I am trying to immerse myself, but i'm just acting logically. Like, you know, when u're a kid, when you know that lighting the lamp makes the room lit and every spook goes away... you just do it when you're scared! Same with me - if i find a way to protect my character (which i take very seriously, and value his life) i will execute it every time to survive... So, i am just remembering my road to a "safe room" and if i see a monster i go there and trick him... I'm executing the maneuver that works to save my life... but then, it becomes less fun to play? I dont know...

I seriously think that "i'm doing it wrong"...