Custom Story: Lost Father

[Anxt]

Well, I came here to make a reply to your story, but now I see you took the download link down, so I assume there are some issues with it.

I played through what I believe is almost all of it, but I was unable to complete it due to unforeseen circumstances. Here's what I thought:

Spoiler below!

It was frustrating, in all honesty. Having to jump on top of boxes to find keys or needles, always having to find some key somewhere, to open a door to get another key, to open another door to get another key, it just got annoying.

I do not believe English is your first language, so I won't comment on the grammar. I won't ask someone to be perfect in their writing in a language that is not their first.

I had to stop playing because one of the final keys (I assume, at least) got pushed under a closet in the dungeon, and I could not retrieve it. There were no boards or thin objects to slide under the closet to push the key out, so I had to quit. I tried loading a save, but then it decided it didn't want me to use the hammer on the padlock anymore, so I gave up.

Since it is your first story, I think it was ok. You seem to have some basic knowledge of scripting, but while I didn't find many clipping issues, there were lighting issues abound. I would suggest you go for more realistic lighting in your next story, if you make one.

You also need to be more vocal about the use of some objects. Saying it is a "Key for some door" isn't helpful to me. Nor is finding a glass jar, then filling it with a liquid, then heating the liquid, then using it on a door to unlock it. I was shocked that it worked, and there really was no way for me to know that is what it was meant to do. Overall, just try to have things make sense, or give the player hints because using a jar of some random chemical on a door to unlock it just isn't going to be the most obvious thing in the world.

I hope you don't take my criticisms personally, I only wish to provide feedback so you can improve in the future.