At what part were you most scared?
I would say the part when you come back from the cutscene to the point where I actually saw the monster and the movements were quite clumsy with the cloak that had no fancy cloth like movement, but I am a developer myself so I ofc wanted to see the monster well ^^
Did the scenes manage to immerse you?
I was as immersed as I can get in a custom story, it was broken at both puzzle parts, but I'll come to that later...
Did you at some part become bored/irritated/frustrated with the map?
I got frustrated with the main puzzle because, I didn't notice the glow effect when they hit the right spot and I found this line quite odd:
"
There appears to be two orbits: The primary and the secondary, with the primary being closest to the sun".
I would like to know what you meant with that, I assumed it meant that I had to, for some reason place all the staffs in the first 2 rings. The other clues and the whole idea of the puzzle was pretty good nevertheless, I just got confused about that orbit thing.
The second time I got frustrated was because I didn't notice you could pull the intestines just by pulling (it needed some tricky positioning after all though). The monster disappeared so there was no tension either, it would have been great if I had instantly figured out what to do. Also the intestines dropped somewhere between the stones and it took a while to manage a click...
Other stuff...
God damn! Cry needs a better mic if he will voice act more
And I have to give you credit for the sounds. They were nicely crafted, even though they may not have been produced with the greatest equipment. Music fit great (though I didn't like the one playing in the cutscene it was just so cliche or something
). Also please consider not using the sanity damage effect for every scare. Like said somewhere in the frictionals blog: its effect only works when the player is fully immersed and is really suprised (not in the first wind that blows papers around event, also it cant sync with a longer scare like that awesome shadow one, but these are some personal things so they wont most likely annoy the rest 99.99% of players).
Also it would be great if all the files could be inside the custom story folder. Easier to install and keep track of donwloaded stuff for other mappers, but you placed them inside their own neat folders so that aint a problem actually.
The monster was very neat, I liked the sounds and all. I thought it was some kind of octopus or something when I only saw his cloak move all stiff. The cloak was the only problem and with that being something that can't be helped, it was great. No one playing normally would start observing its movements like I did.
Sorry for this insanely long feedback text thing when you didn't even actually ask for it, but if I start writing something why not do it well? Keep on doing custom stories, you are talented and I will send a cloaked man after you if you stop.
And now I have to find out how you did the hand hitting the player thing...
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[Rel]Library of Alexandria (Short-story)
