Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs Discussion Topic Part 2

[The Raining Brains]

There is nothing at all wrong with the poem. Have you considered that the repeating of "head" is actually done for effect? That is how poetry works. There are no rules for structure or consistency. If it sounded wrong to you then that is because you imposed a conventional expectation on it.

I personally rather liked it. It's like a sort of echo for emphasis.