Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs Discussion Topic Part 2

[Kman]

There is nothing at all wrong with the poem. Have you considered that the repeating of "head" is actually done for effect? That is how poetry works. There are no rules for structure or consistency. If it sounded wrong to you then that is because you imposed a conventional expectation on it.

I personally rather liked it. It's like a sort of echo for emphasis.

ok

there once was a man named blue
blue had lots of glue on his shoes
on top of a hill was his house
and in with him was a mouse
this mouse would crawl under the floor
joe really liked to eat pizza

there is absolutely nothing forced sounding or out of place about that last sentence and it's totally not just tacked on becos there are no rules to poetry and i can do whatever i want with it right??? wow um ok no you can't say that i totally broke he structure i set up and made it sound awkward because you're just trying to impose a structure on my poem and poems don't need to conform to a structure, it's not like a clearly set one up the entire poem and then just got lazy and decided to drop it at the end or anything!!! IT'S JUST DONE FOR EFFECT TO MAKE IT SOUND ARTSY AND MYSTERIOUS you PHILISTINE

i dunno why i thought coming back to this thread was a good idea

hm