House of Fear [cs]

[MaZiCUT]

Shut up alredy, Amnesia has jumpscares aswell.

And it's his first custom story and i would guess he's like 10-12 Years old, i guess you're a professional level designer at that age?

._.

[ElectricRed]

You know what guys? Not cool. I'm going to give you some ACTUAL feedback.

So I downloaded your custom story and played it for a while. It seemed that you actually had good intentions with this story; although there were obnoxious jump scares and lots of graphical errors (I'll elaborate later), you did some things that I really liked.

First of all, you added messages to almost all of the locked doors, which I really appreciate. You even had the main character write down the occasional memento. Also, I liked that you even bothered to add notes. Notes can create a cool backstory for the story, and allow the player to immerse themselves. Unfortunately, your notes were full of grammatical and spelling errors. If English isn't your first language, then maybe ask someone on the forums to help translate.

There were a ton of graphical errors, such as walls that cut into one another other and objects that interfere with each other. Some of your design choices were actually decent; I liked how you added clothes into the closets and at least put effort into making things look realistic. Try to stay away from big empty rooms though, as sometimes they looked under-detailed.

Onto the scares. You may be wondering why everyone was mocking you on the previous page. It's because this community isn't a fan of jumpscares, and I'm sure you know that there are many stories such as yours that are packed full of them. In my opinion, the occasional jumpscare is fine, but try to focus more on atmosphere and design. For example, Amnesia was scary because of the unknown. Throwing monsters at the player isn't "unknown," it's just silly.

One more sort of minor thing. You had tinderboxes EVERYWHERE. I never needed them. Try to cut down on the amount you add next time.

In conclusion, I think you have some real potential! You put quite a bit of effort into this story, and I really appreciate that. Just try to stay away from pointless jumpscares and focus on atmosphere. Make sure you really get inside the mind of the player. Look at the main game for inspiration! Good luck.

[Mr.Amnesia]

come on guys he is new don't be such ass holes. give him some positive things and if there are some negatives give him some ideas on how to improve and not give him crap.