Custom Story Feedback and Possible Enrolement.

**Zinnkio** · 07-19-2012, 04:16 PM

I'm currently making a custom story but I haven't really thought of a storyline yet. I've sort of just thrown myself into level editing and scripting without any clue of where I'll end up.

Here is a link to the video that I made as like a taster for the custom story so far (I will provide attachment if anyone wishes to play it themselves...just ask)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L00rUV_dR7E

Any feedback for it so far would be much appreciated and If anyone would like to accompany me on making this custom story then I don't see why you can't help. I'll add you on Skype if you have it just for the ease of communication. If anyone thinks I should start over then again... anyone can help out whether it's scripting, level editing or storyline making because I sure could use some help with that.

Thanks in advance for any feedback

Zinnkio Smile

---edit---
I think I may have posted in the wrong section :/

**Anxt** · 07-20-2012, 02:59 AM

PM me a download, unless all you have is what is seen in the video. I can play it and give you constructive feedback, if you are willing to understand that the whole point is to tell you what you can improve on, not just what you have done well. Smile

**Zinnkio** · 07-20-2012, 03:47 PM

Maybe I should have mentioned that in my original post. I'm more than willing to accept any ideas for improvement. I also couldn't figure out how to add an attachment to a pm so I've just posted it here I also think the file is too big. Smile

http://www.mediafire.com/?kl78sqqpri12r2g

**Anxt** · 07-20-2012, 07:22 PM

Well, ultimately it is too short to really say anything major. I would say try to avoid forcing the player to do too much. For example, forcing me to look at the chair when it moves, or making me inactive during the brute scene. Overall the game is meant to make the player feel he is responsible for his own life, and forcing the player to stand still (out of fear, I suppose could work, but still) goes against that in my opinion.

The lighting was decent, seems like you put effort into how you light your maps, which is good. There are a few instances that seem off, but nothing major.

Lack of music can be a good design choice, but I feel this was rather lacking in sounds and atmosphere (at least for now), so it could very much benefit from it I think.

Sometimes it is better to let the player see something is wrong, rather than telling them so via the "unsettling event" reaction. Gasping, and the built-in effect, can be good when major things go wrong or something easily noticeable has just happened, but don't be afraid to put in some things that makes the player wonder whether he/she actually saw what they think they saw.

The moving armor bit has been done so much that it is very predictable, though I suppose it ultimately comes down to experience as to whether you have seen it done or not. Nothing really WRONG with using it, but personally even when watching the video, I knew what was going to happen as soon as you walked past the 2 initial suits.

Ultimately, I would like to see what you can do with story development and overall progression of the story. What you have here is a good start.

**Zinnkio** · 07-20-2012, 07:51 PM

First of all, thanks for the quick reply Smile

Second thing is, I hadn't seen anyone use that moving knight scare until about an hour ago while I was watching a video and since then I've changed it slightly :p. I believe what you said about 'forcing the player to do too much' is right. It did feel a bit repetitive and controlling so I've tweaked a few parts of the script. However I am going to keep in the grunt part where you become inactive.

As for lighting... yea I do take a lot of time making sure everything looks nice. It's somewhat of an OCD for good looking graphics Wink

The lack of sound is mostly down to my coding knowledge because I do think it sounds a bit quiet at points.

Overall I will keep in mind the points you've made and will continue to progress my storyline further. Thanks for the advise Smile

**Anxt** · 07-20-2012, 07:52 PM

If you need someone to bounce ideas off of, or someone to test your stuff further, feel free to message me, I'll be happy to help Smile

**Zinnkio** · 07-21-2012, 10:39 PM

http://www.mediafire.com/?4o818tl6xwlat52

Is there any improvements I can do on the lighting in the first map because I feel there's something not quite right?

**Athom** · 07-21-2012, 10:47 PM

(07-21-2012, 10:39 PM)Zinnkio Wrote: http://www.mediafire.com/?4o818tl6xwlat52

Is there any improvements I can do on the lighting in the first map because I feel there's something not quite right?

Im willing to help you with this. I can help with scripting, storyline, designing whatever! PM me if you want my help.

Is there any reason that there was no floor in the big room in the cellar place? >_<

**Zinnkio** · 07-21-2012, 11:15 PM

Add me on skype if you have it... username is Zinnkio

And the no floor part is probably just because I haven't finished it yet. Where abouts is it?

**Athom** · 07-21-2012, 11:45 PM

(07-21-2012, 11:15 PM)Zinnkio Wrote: Add me on skype if you have it... username is Zinnkio

And the no floor part is probably just because I haven't finished it yet. Where abouts is it?

Im not exactly sure, but after you went through the hatch, you go through a couple hallways and it opens into a HUGE room. Thats all i remember Tongue

I know that i walked right into it Big Grin

D