Sample Introduction for my Custom Story

**Zaffre** · 09-08-2012, 04:12 PM

Hi. I've spent a while working on a new custom story now, and thought I should share an introduction I cooked up. I spent about an hour working on this and I had a lot of bugs. Leave constructive criticism if you have any. Thanks in advance.

**Kreekakon** · 09-08-2012, 04:21 PM

Are you allowed to use that TF2 music? I'm not sure actually. Better check in with some people.

As for the introduction itself, it's really nothing special, as all you show is the player walking towards the house, and that's it. I assume there wasn't any movement related script in it based off of the quirky camera movements.

Also plot-wise, you just bought the house right? Did you move in yet? Where is all your luggage from the cottage? Even if you already moved in previously, and left the house for a while, what was your mean of transportation, and where is it? You would have had to gone somewhere far with transportation, because saying that after you put down all your luggage, going for a short walk before coming back, and THEN the custom story starts sounds a bit silly to me as a starting point in the story timeline. Saying that you went to run some errands all day long before night fell would make much more sense at least to me. In this case though, you would have to imply that there was a mean of transportation, or at least say you walked to get there.

**Zaffre** · 09-08-2012, 04:27 PM

All right. Thank you for the criticism; I'll edit the final product to remove the flaws in it. To avoid any legal issues, I'm changing the TF2 music to a soundtrack by Kevin MacLeod, whom I will give credit to. The story has also been changed accordingly.

**Adny** · 09-09-2012, 07:54 AM

You should make some sort of path leading up to the house. You could use dirt piles to make a slightly elevated surface, then a small fence on each side; perhaps even a lamp post with a lantern here and there. Add more trees/grass/shrubs as well (be sure to remove collision, then add block boxes).

You will also want to limit the player's look speed and disable jumping/crouching. As for the actual setting, I'd choose either rain or night time. The outdoor assets don't look that good when the player can stand right next to them. They're meant to be viewed from a distance at night or with a lot of fog.

**Chap** · 09-09-2012, 01:39 PM

Yeah I'd agree with andyrockin123. At the moment the map is quite simple and it looks very much like a lot of other maps I've seen online before. I know it can be hard to make the maps look different because of so many different maps with the same assets, but it doesn't mean you can't make something different with a little creativity. Try different arrangements of props and maybe even go mad and mix different themed assets together, so long as they look good.

The biggest problem with a lot of modders is that they make something and they're don't want to delete it or start a section again if it's not so great because the time spend on it will be wasted. But I like to think of it as the opposite of that, the more things you try and remove the more experience you gain and the generally the higher quality your maps will be. Also the more practice you have with the tool set and assets this way, the better quality your maps will be when it counts.

I'm not saying you should delete this though =P but like anyrockin said, some details like this really make a map seem like an environment and less like a map.

GL

**lolmaster** · 09-09-2012, 01:51 PM

(09-08-2012, 04:21 PM)Kreekakon Wrote: Are you allowed to use that TF2 music? I'm not sure actually. Better check in with some people.

What about people that use it in their machinimas?

**Kreekakon** · 09-09-2012, 01:53 PM

(09-09-2012, 01:51 PM)lolmaster Wrote: What about people that use it in their machinimas?

I've heard somewhere that machiminas are fine as they are just videos. From what I know at least, distributing it through a mod is a different story.

**Obsidiaguy** · 09-09-2012, 02:24 PM

(09-09-2012, 01:53 PM)Kreekakon Wrote:
(09-09-2012, 01:51 PM)lolmaster Wrote: What about people that use it in their machinimas?
I've heard somewhere that machiminas are fine as they are just videos. From what I know at least, distributing it through a mod is a different story.

It's all the same. It's shady territory to use any copyrighted material without permission (for non-personal projects). Using copyrighted material for direct or indirect profit is a big no-no, however.

Nice intro Zaffre. I look forward to seeing your finished product.