Here lies...

[Dr.Rumstain]

Mr Wood.

Enclosed in wood.
One wood within another.
The outer wood is good,
We can not praise the other.
God takes the good,
Too good to stay.
God leaves the bad,
Too bad to take away.

(For a dentist.)
View this grave with gravity,
He is filling his last cavity.

(Can't remember name.)
Died at 30,
Buried at 60.

Here lies a man who did no good,
and if he lived,
he never would.
When he is gone or how he fairs,
nobody knows and nobody cares.

(For a locksmith)
Died at late
and did not enter heavens gate.
But stood without and did not knock
because he meant to pick the lock.

Molly, although pleasant in her day
was suddenly ceased and sent away.
How soon she is ripe,
how soon she is rotten.
Laid in the grave
and soon forgotten.

(To an unhappy marriage)
Within this grave do lie,
back to back,
my wife and I.
When the last trump,
the air shall fill.
If she gets up,
I'll just lie still.

Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake.
Who died for peace and quietness sake.
His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin'
So he sought repose
in a twelve dollar coffin.

(Franklin's Epitaph.)

The Body of B. Franklin
Printer;
Like the Cover of an old Book,
Its Contents torn out,
And stript of its Lettering and Gilding,
Lies here, Food for Worms.
But the Work shall not be whlly lost:
For it will, as he believ'd, appear once more,
In a new & more perfect Edition,
Corrected and Amended
By the Author.
He was born on January 6, 1706.

Died 1790

[Dr.Rumstain]

Oh, and if you guys find any good ones, post em' here. I love these epitaphs.