I've finally played through your entire custom story. It is probably the one I enjoyed the most, so far. I have quite a few observations to make.
Spoiler below!
In terms of general design: the idea is good. As in Amnesia, you use a main hall, where the player can relax (and that is much needed in this custom story), and branch out to different places trying to finish the main objective.
But the area design was not that great. The same "stuck door", same closets for hiding, same search for keys. Rooms were maybe too empty (shelves in water part, for ex) and quite repetitive too, but I don't see that as a problem (it is in more credible, in a way). The carpet texture are way too stretched, it is very obvious for the big rooms. Some doors were intentionally blocked by objects (barrels in the cellar), but the player can simply push through.
The cellar was quite special though. Hiding was much more intense because it was only possible near a light source. The player is more like counting on luck, hoping that the monster doesn't get too near.
Excellent use of lighting! The atmosphere created by lighting in the corridors is quite tense (seeing the ends, having light at turns, alternating dark/lit spots). Unfortunately, there is also much light going through walls where it shouldn't. I was even able to spot a red glass piece this way, and knew the general route to it.
There were a few exceptional moments. The one in the study, where you see books flying around, was shocking for me. Picking the first red glass piece was as well. I believe a chase would have followed after that, but I outran the monster too much (was quite surprised and scared though). I reached the door to the main hall, and waited half a minute to see what happens. The monster did not show up. I guess it should have been much faster in that scene.
While some monster appearances were special, most were repetitive (hiding quick, usually in the closet). At a certain point they became obvious (once you pick a new object or open up a new area, it will appear).
The main hall, or Atrium, is maybe too simple, almost symmetrical. The lighting there is unreal (small corridors leading too Dinning Hall, Archives have no real lighting, should be dark).
The water part is just a copy of the original one, but it is still enjoyable.
I also noticed a couple of bugs. In the study, after you open a blocked door with a crowbar, it keeps saying "blocked due to broken lock" if you use it. Also, in the prison, it only gives you the "puzzle solved", relief moment if you exit through the broken bar. I used boxes to climb over the whole grates.
Story-wise, the first part was quite good. I really liked the beginning, it's a good idea. Also, the diaries in the prison were good and were fit for the story. From there on, story was neglected. In case you are lacking ideas for future custom stories, I would like suggest reading the works of some good horror writers: H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, Ambrose Bierce, Clive Barker, Stephen King. Ideas will just flow easily after experiencing such horrors.
I don't intend to bring you down with so many comments, many of them might be personal feelings. This was just my feedback on your story, which I must say I enjoyed very much. Thank you! I'm looking forward to your next one.
(04-06-2011, 10:51 PM)Leu Radu Wrote: I've finally played through your entire custom story. It is probably the one I enjoyed the most, so far. I have quite a few observations to make.
Spoiler below!
In terms of general design: the idea is good. As in Amnesia, you use a main hall, where the player can relax (and that is much needed in this custom story), and branch out to different places trying to finish the main objective.
But the area design was not that great. The same "stuck door", same closets for hiding, same search for keys. Rooms were maybe too empty (shelves in water part, for ex) and quite repetitive too, but I don't see that as a problem (it is in more credible, in a way). The carpet texture are way too stretched, it is very obvious for the big rooms. Some doors were intentionally blocked by objects (barrels in the cellar), but the player can simply push through.
The cellar was quite special though. Hiding was much more intense because it was only possible near a light source. The player is more like counting on luck, hoping that the monster doesn't get too near.
Excellent use of lighting! The atmosphere created by lighting in the corridors is quite tense (seeing the ends, having light at turns, alternating dark/lit spots). Unfortunately, there is also much light going through walls where it shouldn't. I was even able to spot a red glass piece this way, and knew the general route to it.
There were a few exceptional moments. The one in the study, where you see books flying around, was shocking for me. Picking the first red glass piece was as well. I believe a chase would have followed after that, but I outran the monster too much (was quite surprised and scared though). I reached the door to the main hall, and waited half a minute to see what happens. The monster did not show up. I guess it should have been much faster in that scene.
While some monster appearances were special, most were repetitive (hiding quick, usually in the closet). At a certain point they became obvious (once you pick a new object or open up a new area, it will appear).
The main hall, or Atrium, is maybe too simple, almost symmetrical. The lighting there is unreal (small corridors leading too Dinning Hall, Archives have no real lighting, should be dark).
The water part is just a copy of the original one, but it is still enjoyable.
I also noticed a couple of bugs. In the study, after you open a blocked door with a crowbar, it keeps saying "blocked due to broken lock" if you use it. Also, in the prison, it only gives you the "puzzle solved", relief moment if you exit through the broken bar. I used boxes to climb over the whole grates.
Story-wise, the first part was quite good. I really liked the beginning, it's a good idea. Also, the diaries in the prison were good and were fit for the story. From there on, story was neglected. In case you are lacking ideas for future custom stories, I would like suggest reading the works of some good horror writers: H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, Ambrose Bierce, Clive Barker, Stephen King. Ideas will just flow easily after experiencing such horrors.
I don't intend to bring you down with so many comments, many of them might be personal feelings. This was just my feedback on your story, which I must say I enjoyed very much. Thank you! I'm looking forward to your next one.
I greatly appreciate the feedback, good sir! I take nothing personally and I am aware of many of the issues you pointed out. I often found myself having difficulty figuring out what to do with some rooms, and as a result a lot of them feel empty. I am attempting to correct that in chapter 2. The story was definitely slow in the latter part of the chapter, but part of that was intentional. I didn't want to progress things too fast, and I probably took that a bit too far. However, as it is only chapter 1, there is MUCH more of the story to come, and many revelations occur in chapter 2, which I am still working on.
I tried to keep the monsters in play enough to keep the player on edge but also not interrupt the game TOO much, and I know there were several that lasted a long time and had obvious hiding spots, but it IS my first map, so I have learned from that and will be making things better in chapter 2.
When did you download the story? I made a few bug fixes after the initial upload, and have probably updated it 3 or 4 times. There are still a few issues such as the message in the West Wing you mentioned, and a few lights still show through walls where they shouldn't, but overall I think I got the majority of the bugs.
Overall I was trying things out in different areas, trying to see what was good and what wasn't, that sort of thing. I think part of the problem is I did things too much in a step-by-step format, so things may not feel very connected.
And yes, it was meant to feel much like the main game, because the story is very related to it (if you couldn't tell ).
I promise things will be bound well together in chapter 2 and address some of the things that occurred in chapter 1, such as:
Spoiler below!
How Alexander has come back into the picture, and what J.W. had to do with it, as well as how Daniel fits into Alexander's plans once more.
I am glad you enjoyed it, and I am constantly trying to make improvements, and I thank you again for your feedback!
No lol I put the original west wing stuff in the same folder as the new stuff so when I encoded it, it came out weird because I clicked on the wrong part :/ I feel dumb lmao.
(04-06-2011, 11:43 PM)Sconosciuto Wrote: No lol I put the original west wing stuff in the same folder as the new stuff so when I encoded it, it came out weird because I clicked on the wrong part :/ I feel dumb lmao.
Trust me, it could be worse. I uploaded the story with MAJOR bugs the first time, and it embarrassed me to no end. It's all fixed now, but I still hated myself for letting that happen.
(04-06-2011, 11:43 PM)Sconosciuto Wrote: No lol I put the original west wing stuff in the same folder as the new stuff so when I encoded it, it came out weird because I clicked on the wrong part :/ I feel dumb lmao.
Trust me, it could be worse. I uploaded the story with MAJOR bugs the first time, and it embarrassed me to no end. It's all fixed now, but I still hated myself for letting that happen.
Well it's all good now. Wasted to much time though but oh well.
(04-04-2011, 10:36 PM)Leu Radu Wrote: I seem to be stuck. I've already searched every room that I can access, and I've found nothing to help me move on. What I need is...
Spoiler below!
a key for a door inside the east wing, something to put out the flames in the dinning room (a bucket, maybe?) and a lever for the storage.
You need to get a bucket from the storage then go to the atrium and put water in the bucket from the fountain, then go back to the dining hall and set the fire off.
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