Day of Redemption (Amnesia custom story) *RELEASED

[Khyrpa]

Finnish death metal is nothing compared to finnish black metal...

[Unearthlybrutal]

Finnish death metal is nothing compared to finnish black metal...

Olkoot mitä o mutta heviä sen olla pitää...
The main thing is that it's metal

[bobbo]

I'm sorry but I didn't like this one very much.

Spoiler below!

The description was something like „You found some house somewhere and decide to search it for stuff“ and that is just random. If you don't know what to write in the description you could just leave it blank.

I need to get out of course, but everything else didn't make very much sense to me. I happen to find a plant, I happen to find a note telling me to destroy the plant, I destroy the plant. Why was there a plant, what did the plant do, why would it be neccessary for my task of getting out alive to destroy the plant? I don't know. When I found the note at first I was excited to get to kill a grunt – but unfortunately there was a dead one readily available.

Unfortunately the scares seemed to be there only to have scares, not because they fitted to a story. For example the chasing scene. First you hear the grunt noise coming from ahead, but then the grunt spawns behind you to chase you. This didn't make much sense to me because iirc there was no locked place behind you where this grunt could have hidden before (Anxt has described this pretty good in some other thread, I'll post a link if I can find it again). The only scare I liked was the one when finding the dead body (some custom stories don't use scare effects when seeing a dead body, but I'd expect my supposedly sensitive character do be indeed scared by such a view!).

I liked that I didn't see any bugs in textures or lightning, everything looked very good to me. Only the last map wasn't so good, because the blue edge of the map was way too visible. Just one small glitch: The strange key seemed to be sticking through the bottom of the drawer.

I found some typos in the texts: On the 2nd loading screen it says „drakness“, on the 3rd loading screen it should read „You are all going to die“, later on it should say „Why is it so dark“ and a little bit later it should say „There is a way to destroy it“.

I hope this doesn't discourage you! I have great respect for anyone posting their custom stories here because I myself have no editing skills whatsoever and I imagine that it's not easy at all. Yet, I hope this feedback helps you to come up with a more polished story in the future.

Edit: I found Anxt's post that I meant: http://www.frictionalgames.com/forum/thr...l#pid70367

Gameplay: 5/10. The monsters were unpredictable, yes, but a lot of times they didn't really make much sense either. For example, why is this grunt that has been walking in front of me the whole time now spawning behind me? Why is the brute on the other side of the breakable wall when there is no way for it to get in or out otherwise? Being unpredictable is good, but making no sense is not. Try to find a balance between the two. One doesn't just disappear randomly, there has to be somewhere for it to GO so it can pop back up again. Even if there are supposedly multiple monsters, having it disappear at a dead end makes no sense to the player.

[Unearthlybrutal]

I'm sorry but I didn't like this one very much.

Spoiler below!

The description was something like „You found some house somewhere and decide to search it for stuff“ and that is just random. If you don't know what to write in the description you could just leave it blank.

I need to get out of course, but everything else didn't make very much sense to me. I happen to find a plant, I happen to find a note telling me to destroy the plant, I destroy the plant. Why was there a plant, what did the plant do, why would it be neccessary for my task of getting out alive to destroy the plant? I don't know. When I found the note at first I was excited to get to kill a grunt – but unfortunately there was a dead one readily available.

Unfortunately the scares seemed to be there only to have scares, not because they fitted to a story. For example the chasing scene. First you hear the grunt noise coming from ahead, but then the grunt spawns behind you to chase you. This didn't make much sense to me because iirc there was no locked place behind you where this grunt could have hidden before (Anxt has described this pretty good in some other thread, I'll post a link if I can find it again). The only scare I liked was the one when finding the dead body (some custom stories don't use scare effects when seeing a dead body, but I'd expect my supposedly sensitive character do be indeed scared by such a view!).

I liked that I didn't see any bugs in textures or lightning, everything looked very good to me. Only the last map wasn't so good, because the blue edge of the map was way too visible. Just one small glitch: The strange key seemed to be sticking through the bottom of the drawer.

I found some typos in the texts: On the 2nd loading screen it says „drakness“, on the 3rd loading screen it should read „You are all going to die“, later on it should say „Why is it so dark“ and a little bit later it should say „There is a way to destroy it“.

I hope this doesn't discourage you! I have great respect for anyone posting their custom stories here because I myself have no editing skills whatsoever and I imagine that it's not easy at all. Yet, I hope this feedback helps you to come up with a more polished story in the future.

Edit: I found Anxt's post that I meant: http://www.frictionalgames.com/forum/thr...l#pid70367

Gameplay: 5/10. The monsters were unpredictable, yes, but a lot of times they didn't really make much sense either. For example, why is this grunt that has been walking in front of me the whole time now spawning behind me? Why is the brute on the other side of the breakable wall when there is no way for it to get in or out otherwise? Being unpredictable is good, but making no sense is not. Try to find a balance between the two. One doesn't just disappear randomly, there has to be somewhere for it to GO so it can pop back up again. Even if there are supposedly multiple monsters, having it disappear at a dead end makes no sense to the player.

Thanks for your feedback. Like I said before, I'm from finland and i'm not so good at speaking or writing english. You are right that the story line isn't so good. I will make better story line to part2 if I will make it

[Dark Knight]

Nice and short brutal story like it, and the altar idea

at moment - where i meet monster first time, i have serious sound lagging and crackling sounds.
never seen this before..

[Unearthlybrutal]

Nice and short brutal story like it, and the altar idea

at moment - where i meet monster first time, i have serious sound lagging and crackling sounds.
never seen this before..

Thanks

I'll fix the bugs when I have time. I started to planning "Day of Redemption part2" project.

[Khyrpa]

So here it comes... Drunken feedback from a fellow finn, in english of course because you need to learn a lil more just so you can communicate with the nowdays so common language (atleast at the interwebz)(btw I'm quite bad too).
So I am going to tackle on most of the same things that bobbo told you already. That is how damn unclear everything was!
So its the typical: wake up in some place you can only exit from one place and surprise surprise you have to get away from there (ever wonder how you got there?). Then it was just running straight and triggering random collide jump scares and picking up keys for nearby doors.
Enemies appeared from nowhere and I was only excited/scared (whatever you wanna call it (I think while being drunk, you don't really get that excited... So don't get drunk kids!)) in the brute part, where you first of all had that damn chair with the rock that was hard to move away, and when I got to open the closet, the Fu**ing shit was full of crap. I "aggroed" the brute, but got lucky when it didn't oneshot me and disappeared.
From lighting... Don't get offended because I whine about this same fact to about every custom story I play. Use something else than lamp entites only for lighting! You had no box light and only spot lights to give light to areas, and that looks very unrealistic.
But I assume this was your first custom story that you've made and it didn't really lack anything too important (except for particle effects and billboards), but if you have everything "half done" it does not feel right and you can't get immersed.
I'm willing to help you with your future projects for sure though! Just pm me and ask me for my msn or something. (voin tarkistaa sun grammarit ja kattoa mapin läpi / antaa helvetisti vinkkejä atmösfäärin rakentamisesta, joten ihmeessä ota yhteyttä)

btw, "hevi" ja metalli sama asia??? Mitä helvettiä mies

[bobbo]

...and I was only excited/scared (whatever you wanna call it (I think while being drunk, you don't really get that excited... So don't get drunk kids!)) in the brute part, where you first of all had that damn chair with the rock that was hard to move away, and when I got to open the closet, the Fu**ing shit was full of crap.

Oh, yeah, sorry I forgot that I liked that one, too! The best thing is: When you get out of the stuffed cabinet you'll see a perfectly empty cabinet on the opposite side of the room. You probably didn't notice it because it was in the corner next to the door.

[Khyrpa]

Oh, yeah, sorry I forgot that I liked that one, too! The best thing is: When you get out of the stuffed cabinet you'll see a perfectly empty cabinet on the opposite side of the room. You probably didn't notice it because it was in the corner next to the door.

Yeah! I did the god damned same thing... Nice twist in there for sure yeah

[jacob]

I played it, it was scary, but one of the red doors to go to the next area didn't work? Or was I doing something wrong?