Last Whisper

**Janni1234** · 09-01-2011, 06:45 PM

Can i use the endtheme for my custom story? Big Grin

**MegaScience** · 09-01-2011, 06:48 PM

I watched Cry's playthrough. The internet-type grammar in notes, random "Derps," and "HULK SMASH!" completely broke immersion and felt unprofessional. Also factoring in the sever lack of hints, which forces players to search every tiny little notch for hours, this Custom Story just doesn't work well. You should release an update that removes the random statements such as listed above, corrects some grammar, and definitely add many more clues to solutions.

Edit: Oh, and you made Cry cry.

**Selyp** · 09-02-2011, 05:54 AM

I am sorry but when you say great story you are flat out lying. I am not trying to bash here, just to give you some constructive criticism. In the description it says you are in a cave in ireland, then you start out in a prison (or similar). That makes no sense. However, that I can get over.

You start out with a monster chase, which doesn't give the player any chance to get immersed. Maybe try starting out with the player arriving at the cave, going through the cave and ending up in the prison. Then it might work better.

Also the random messages like "derp" and especially "HULK SMASH!!!" aren't really funny, and just plain take away any sense of story and immersion there was in the first place.

Puzzles were pretty cool, and I like that there was a lot to explore, but maybe work on atmosphere a little more next time.

**eu9en3** · 09-02-2011, 01:01 PM

HULK SMASH!!!

**Sabokizi** · 09-02-2011, 03:08 PM

(09-01-2011, 06:45 PM)Janni1234 Wrote: Can i use the endtheme for my custom story?

Sure, go ahead Big Grin

(09-02-2011, 05:54 AM)Selyp Wrote: I am sorry but when you say great story you are flat out lying. I am not trying to bash here, just to give you some constructive criticism. In the description it says you are in a cave in ireland, then you start out in a prison (or similar). That makes no sense. However, that I can get over.

You start out with a monster chase, which doesn't give the player any chance to get immersed. Maybe try starting out with the player arriving at the cave, going through the cave and ending up in the prison. Then it might work better.

Also the random messages like "derp" and especially "HULK SMASH!!!" aren't really funny, and just plain take away any sense of story and immersion there was in the first place.

Puzzles were pretty cool, and I like that there was a lot to explore, but maybe work on atmosphere a little more next time.

Yes, I am already creating the beginning cause I know it doesnt make any sense, but anyway... that was only the first part so its not even done yet.

**MegaScience** · 09-02-2011, 04:12 PM

You really shouldn't work on another part until this one is polished at least a little more. What about the rest of our suggestions? You're going to do those, right? Removing the random statements and smile faces in the credits, adding more hints to where the puzzle parts are, etc? Maybe you should light a little bit of the hallways, since the structure of them is a little bit confusing.