[REQUEST] First level testers.

[Mine Turtle]

This is your first custom story; so i'll try to criticize as possitively and constructively as i can.

Heres my mindset throughout the story:

Spoiler below!

First of all, I assume that the character is drunk, and you have no recollection of what happened before you passed out, or whatever. Why did I then wake up in a room similar to a jailcell? Why are there stretched textures for floors and roofs? Whats the story behind that guy who I found in the jailcell? I assume hes been captured; judging by what I read on the note, and his current situation. But then again, why is he there, who would possibly want to drag 1 single man down to a room full of barrels, boxes and chests, in a lone jailcell with a fancy looking closet, a pile of food and rocks?

When I continued on outside the jailcell I saw a poofer. He made practically no sense what so ever. NO sense. Id get that guy out of there if I were you.

I continued up the stairs to yet again see stretched textures on the roof, along with mismatching floors, where the 2 floors were connected. This takes time to master, so i wouldnt worry about it, but try to make it look as natural as possible.

I continued to read the note which just happened to have a casual skull ontop of it. Kinda cliche.

I read it, and suddently my screen shook up, and a brute slapped my face. Where did he come from? I certainly checked the room I was in before, so how in the hell could he have just popped up out of nowhere? I suppose you tried to build some tension here, but there wont be tension unless it sort of makes sense. Things just dont "pop up" out of nowhere.

I continued on, and out of nowhere, I see a hole in the ground. Alright, cool.

I traverse down the hole, and knowing the game, right is the right way to go. I go to the left all the same, seeing as some people love to put stuff there. I was correct; there is stuff there. I take the spoils of casual laudanum and sanity potion, and I read the note. Someone dug their way through here apparently, but who was it? Idk.

I go into the room that follows the right passageway, only to see a room with some rubble and a doorway. This is alright, I guess. Just watch out for the stretching textures on the floors and the roof.

In the long hallway, I see a stretched floor texture.

I try open the door, only to be interrupted by an abrupt boom. This clears the door, but where the hell did whatever opened this come from? Why was there a loud tense Bang sound out of nowhere, which resembled rubble falling, but with no rubble present? Meh.

I continue on, only to witness a MASSIVE room, with a million torches. WHY are there a million torches? Its hardly necessary, seeing as it only lowers my framerate..

I continue on under the staircase, only to see a casual clipping texture, a pile of sawdust, 7 tinderboxes, and a broom. Ok?

I keep going up the staircase, and theres the end.

Alot of things can be improved; and if you think this is TL;DR, when you asked for feedback, I can only say I tried.

Again, this is your first custom story; yet alone your first level. I have little to judge upon, but I would recommend to have a complete story make-over, and you need to have heavy work done on the story part of this CS. Have some mapping improvements, along with some details in the several rooms. Also try implement some more sense into the environment of this CS level.

A 1 level testing request is just useless, IMO. Work some more on your CS before asking for feedback on it. I suppose you asked just to see if you were goin in the right direction with mapping and such, but in the future, try to have more stuff than just a single level.

Good luck with this, and I hope this helped you out to some extent! ^^