Bad Friends [short custom story]

[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Just played this for a bit and...how do I put this... well if it's supposed to be a masterpiece then you still have a lot of work to do I think. I'll just list things in the order I noticed them.

First of all: Reading the introduction text and the first note I found, it seemed to me like English isn't your first language. That's okay, it's not my first language either, but still, you might want to have a native speaker help you with the texts. Because if you want to immerse the player into a scary atmosphere, it really hurts if your texts are full of grammatical errors - especially when some sentences don't even make any sense. ("Feel free in this climate prison"?) It just makes them unintentionally funny and makes it really hard to take them as seriously as the setting demands, y' know?

Also what on earth is a "climate prison"? A prison with an air conditioning system?

Second thing is the story in general... I have to admit I didn't get very far, but even the first note already confused me:

Spoiler below!

Apparently my friends/drinking buddies put me in a prison because they hate me (for whatever reason, I guess finding that out is the point of the story), but then again they say it's all just a joke and they'll come and get me out again soon? I don't get it....

It probably gets clearer later, but I don't know it just seems somewhat incoherent.

Third thing is the lighting. I'm not an expert on this, but it looks very unrealistic and way too dark. Having a pitch-black corner here and there is okay, but if I light every candle in a room and also have a big fire right in the middle of it it just looks unrealistic if the areas inbetween the lights are still completely dark.

Fourth thing: pacing. I mean...come on. I play for exactly 10 seconds and are already encountering a water monster? (And there's not even water around) Not sure though, it could also have been a bug. Maybe it saw me through a wall when it wasn't supposed to or something.
Also the second monster encounter is just not very...clever. I mean

Spoiler below!

I unlock a door and get almost immediately killed from behind? It wasn't even a good jumpscare, just a needless immersion-killer. If you look at the original Amnesia, you'll notice there are some jumpscares, yes, but extremely few situations where the player is actually in danger of dying.

This is for good reason, because player death kills the tension and the sense of presence the player has in the game. What happens in your case is this: I get killed the first time because the situation is hard to get out of if you don't know what to expect. Okay, let's say the jumpscare was effective and I jumped out of my chair from that. What now? I'm dead and have to restart, now knowing what to expect. That's not how you create atmosphere and immersion, that's just trial and error. The goal should be to scare the player while keeping him in a constant game-flow as long as possible...

Sorry if this all sounds a bit harsh, I do not mean to be an asshole or something. I just want to help