My Novel Translation Test

[OriginalUsername]

It's not that bad actually. It's not great, but it isn't the worst. The grammar makes it a bit weird sometimes, but that won't be a problem when it's in your native language.
Your conversations should loosen up. They're really stiff.. Like when the man goes to his window and the boy is like: "Yes. And I apologized." To be honest, no kid would ever say that.
I'm not an expert, I just read a lot. So don't take this like I know everything about writing, it's just the POV of a reader.
Good luck with your novel. It isn't as bad as you think it is.