Relative teleport

[Frontcannon]

Yea that's the problem... I know the player will notice that they've suddenly hopped left or right... but I wonder if I can divide up the area into a bunch of thin little slices so the jump is less noticeable.....

Teleporting is instant, no transition at all.

Maybe make the hallway very narrow until the player can't move left or right? Or make the hallway have light and very dark areas, use one of them to teleport the player (better disable the lantern for this) there so he can't see it.
It is possible, you've just gotta work around it.