Okay, well I am near the end, and I did find some things you need to work on:
Spoiler below!
First of all, I can not use my lantern on the first few map areas. I can use it on the third one, but not the first two. The lantern was probably my biggest issue! Also, in the dining room scene, I would move the dead bodies closer to the chairs and more on the floor than on the table (this is just a small thing, because I want to make it more credible). And the fog in some areas goes through the walls, and I was wondering if you could touch that up. And the story could use a little bit more work, for I am a little confused (explain it a little better through the notes maybe?).
Oh, and I also got the monster stuck for a sec in the second map area, then unstuck it and then died (but don't worry about this, I just wanted to share...).
And lastly, some of the scares are not that scary (like the breaking bottles, maybe you could amplify the sound a bit more so that it is more startling). Some of these include the two monster poofers when you reach the dining hall, (maybe you could delay their spawn so that they spawn right in front of you) and the closet opening with the boxes (maybe you should not have a "scare" so that they don't expect one later).
And on the third map area (with the letter of you are almost there...) in the room where the monster comes out of the closet ( ), is he supposed to poof right away? Because I was expecting him to poof and he never poofed... So I died...
And now all of the positives!
The rocks flying through the air made my heart skip a beat, and the teleporting naked freaked me out! And the note that said that something isn't quite right made me shiver and it gave me goosebumps as I progressed. I didn't notice too many bugs in the game, so it didn't distract me from the game at all. There was a nice lighting, nice environment, and I actually enjoyed playing it.
So, overall, I give it a 6/10! I will give it a lot higher rating if you improve on the custom story on the areas I mentioned (to a 9/10 or even a 10/10).
Oh, and btw, I am stuck in the third map (with the you are almost there letter), in the second room in the hallway, where the bro's head appeared on the table (this scare actually delayed for me, which actually made it a bit scarier, because I didn't expect it ). I can't find the key to the next room...
And that is my review of it! Great job, especially because it is your first map! I could never do something like this...
I will review all of your custom stories (when I find time!)!
I'm on the third map (with the letter reading you are almost there...) in the second room in the hallway, where the bro's head pops up on the table. I can't find the key... Where is the key?
I will review all of your custom stories (when I find time!)!
(This post was last modified: 03-25-2012, 06:17 PM by ThoseRandomGuyz.)
It's not too bad a map. The atmosphere seemed good, good amount of monsters and quite a few scares that I enjoyed. The obvious lantern glitch was pointed out numerous times already, and I experienced no different. My big concerns are the layout and item placement. I went through several rooms that were entirely unnecessary and did nothing but act as a transfer from one area to the next. Why did I need to leave the dining room, go through that hallway was was about 3 feet long to go to the next area? Why not just make that door in the dining room lead to the next big area? There weren't any key items, notes, supplies...not even scenery, there's like no point to those kind of rooms. If you make a room, make sure that all of them have a distinct purpose and add something of quality to your story instead of just being a blank transfer room. Most areas should be larger, and have many things to offer, whether it be just atmosphere and scares, or puzzles and items. Just make sure every room has a good purpose for being in your story. Item placement confused me at times. Probably the biggest confusion was when you got the first hammer. I get the hammer, go to the storage room, break open the closet and I get...another hammer? Why? There's no point to that, its just an extra unneeded step that was added when you could have just had the first hammer break the planks on the door to the adjacent room. Also, one other thing I noticed, your monsters got stuck all the time, whether it be on a wall or in a room, I always managed to get them trapped somewhere, reducing that threat to minimal. I'd try to fix that if you ever make another map.
Overall, I can see potential in your mapmaking, you just need to work on a few things here and there
Nice job
I play Amnesia Custom Stories a couple times a week on Livestream
Its great fun http://www.livestream.com/kaizy
Steam account: Krazyw0lfie
(This post was last modified: 03-25-2012, 10:36 PM by Kaizy.)
(03-25-2012, 10:35 PM)Kaizy Wrote: Alright, so I played through this
Spoiler below!
It's not too bad a map. The atmosphere seemed good, good amount of monsters and quite a few scares that I enjoyed. The obvious lantern glitch was pointed out numerous times already, and I experienced no different. My big concerns are the layout and item placement. I went through several rooms that were entirely unnecessary and did nothing but act as a transfer from one area to the next. Why did I need to leave the dining room, go through that hallway was was about 3 feet long to go to the next area? Why not just make that door in the dining room lead to the next big area? There weren't any key items, notes, supplies...not even scenery, there's like no point to those kind of rooms. If you make a room, make sure that all of them have a distinct purpose and add something of quality to your story instead of just being a blank transfer room. Most areas should be larger, and have many things to offer, whether it be just atmosphere and scares, or puzzles and items. Just make sure every room has a good purpose for being in your story. Item placement confused me at times. Probably the biggest confusion was when you got the first hammer. I get the hammer, go to the storage room, break open the closet and I get...another hammer? Why? There's no point to that, its just an extra unneeded step that was added when you could have just had the first hammer break the planks on the door to the adjacent room. Also, one other thing I noticed, your monsters got stuck all the time, whether it be on a wall or in a room, I always managed to get them trapped somewhere, reducing that threat to minimal. I'd try to fix that if you ever make another map.
Overall, I can see potential in your mapmaking, you just need to work on a few things here and there
Nice job
Thanks. I'm gonna start working on another map soon. This map actually started as just a test to figure out scripting and i ended up liking it so i kept going with it. But I'll definitely make sure to remember all of your tips. And I'll try and fix this one up a bit too. But yeah, thanks a lot for trying it and giving me feedback, it really helps a lot
Also for the key thing:
Spoiler below!
It's under the carpet in the room with the table.
Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to release a new one soon that's a lot less buggy and has better item placement
I must say, this custom story was not only well-made and surprisingly scary, it was also a very fun idea of gameplay. The jumpscare nearly threw me out of my seat, but some of the other scares seems like they could have been better placed. I also think there were to many poofers, they appeared around nearly every corner, making me lose fear in all of the zombies that distantly spawned. The Lantern did not work after entering the first door in the first map and did not work again until later on in the story. Even after it got fixed once more, it again went out on me, so honestly I pretty much went through the custom story without my lantern.
Numerous scares got me good like
Spoiler below!
the zombie in the closet,
and the
Spoiler below!
2 zombies that spawned right around the bloody dude with his head on the desk.
Very entertaining story (: I'd love to see more from you, these scares made my day.
(This post was last modified: 03-26-2012, 02:20 AM by Clanksits.)
(03-26-2012, 02:19 AM)Clanksits Wrote: I must say, this custom story was not only well-made and surprisingly scary, it was also a very fun idea of gameplay. The jumpscare nearly threw me out of my seat, but some of the other scares seems like they could have been better placed. I also think there were to many poofers, they appeared around nearly every corner, making me lose fear in all of the zombies that distantly spawned. The Lantern did not work after entering the first door in the first map and did not work again until later on in the story. Even after it got fixed once more, it again went out on me, so honestly I pretty much went through the custom story without my lantern.
Numerous scares got me good like
Spoiler below!
the zombie in the closet,
and the
Spoiler below!
2 zombies that spawned right around the bloody dude with his head on the desk.
Very entertaining story (: I'd love to see more from you, these scares made my day.
Thanks you very much :) I'll be starting a couple new projects soon. I'm gonna try and do one humorous one and another more serious one. Hopefully by then I'll be a lot better at scripting and I'll be able to make better scares. Again, thank you to everyone who has given input on this story :)
Well, thank you for making us a pretty darn good custom story! I can't wait to see the end products of your next custom stories, now that you learned how to do it and also learned how to improve. Can't wait for your next maps!
I will review all of your custom stories (when I find time!)!
(03-26-2012, 03:57 AM)ThoseRandomGuyz Wrote: Well, thank you for making us a pretty darn good custom story! I can't wait to see the end products of your next custom stories, now that you learned how to do it and also learned how to improve. Can't wait for your next maps!
I added a small, simple puzzle in the dungeon type area and got rid of a room
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