[WIP] Amnesia - The Cult is Alive

[JawlessWarrior]

They say the mind bends and twists in order to deal with the horrors of life. Sometimes it bends so much it snaps in two.


My name is 106. After everything that has happened, I don't feel I deserve to have a name. Everything I've done and everything I could've done, but chose not to. Every action, every word... every corpse has led me to this point and there's no going back now. The horrors that have plagued me since birth are no excuse for my actions. But this - this is redemption. If I don't stop them, nothing will. If they do succeed, perhaps the world itself will snap in two.


07/08/13 Update - Bad news - hard drive has failed on me and couldn't recover the project. Good news - I have an earlier version backed up. This has set me back a lot, as I will need to buy another computer and work up to where I left off. My computer is not worth paying another $50 for a hard drive.

07/07/13 Update on the actual CS - I'm cutting the D-Wing level from the game. Overall it was just pretty boring and felt too similar to every castle level from every other CS ever. Maybe the character will be there for a little bit, but not nearly as long as the other wings. The other three wings have their own look and feel that I think is somewhat unique, and D-Wing just wasn't cutting it. On a good-ish note, I will be developing a very short side-story where you play as the Archbishop. It will be a separate CS released before The Cult is Alive, but I will post updates on it in this post. Story is not concrete yet, so no info on that. Shooting for a relatively short, but fun playtime. Working title is The Twilight Grimoire. Unfortunately, my hard drive failure caused me to lose everything regarding this CS, but I will re-start work on it as soon as I can.


Story -
Follow 106 as he attempts to stop the Twilight Cult from summoning the Twilight god Ki'Rak - the ancient, evil god of time - who was sealed away in a dimension away from our own by the Elder Council many milennia ago. But 106 is not the classic hero to stop them - where did the number come from? What 'actions' did he commit? What secrets does his dark past hold? 106's journey takes him to the very essence of fear itself where he will clash with the Cult and it's ruthless leader, who is not fully human himself.

The story will incorporate 106's past, the history of the Twilight gods and the Elder Council, and involves the mysterious group known as the Illuminati.

Features -
> Deep story. The goal for this CS is to make it almost entirely story-driven. I don't want the player to continue playing because of the potential scares, but out of interest for the story and the characters. (There will be scares though. It's not Amnesia without them.)

> (Hopefully) Compelling exploration. The player will be rewarded with additional documents and speech that will add to the backstory. The idea is that someone who plays it very linearly will only experience the bare-bones, whereas a more observant player will understand all the events that led to the conclusion.

> Unique hub-like level that while serving as a transition level and safe haven, will also provide clues that hint at 106's past and future. The level will be different every time you visit it to reflect his journey to stop the Cult, as well as the journey through life that led him here.

> Gameplay that incorporates the signature Amnesia horror as well as some adventure elements.


No screenshots yet - I am constantly skipping to different environments to help keep it fresh, and unfortunately none of the scenes I have are screenshot-worthy. No planned release date - just one guy working on this. Almost all of my free time goes into working on it, so it'll be ready when it's ready. Still learning some technical aspects of the map making process as I go, though everything seems to be going fine now.

I didn't plan on posting this so soon (or continuing to make it...) because of the impending release of AMFP. They 'say' it won't include CS support, but I'm still skeptical. I wanted to know if there were enough people still interested in custom stories to warrant putting time into this, and if there are if I should wait for the release of AMFP to continue it? I'm a little scared that I'm going to put months of time into this only to find out last minute that a better version of the level editor is being released with AMFP.


I've come to the conclusion that the whole story wouldn't fit into a small CS. So, I have decided to write up some documents (like you would pick up in the game) to help with the backstory and to help keep interest over this long development time. I guess this has become a "tell me a story thread" until I have the full playable custom story ready. I would also like to get some design advice from anyone willing to give their opinion (on anything! Even if its just to say "Hey I think poofers are kinda dumb don't put much if any in there"!). A ton of amazing maps have come from people here and I would be missing out if I didn't listen to them and the people who have played them.

Documents will be edited in below until there is no room/it becomes difficult to go through them. There are a ton of interesting story points that can be told before this CS is ready, and I'm excited to share them.


Doc 1 -
Police Report, for personal filing only. Written by Officer George Newt. Date of incident - 04/15. Date of writing - 04/25. Location - Boston. Address is public record.

Arrived at the house in question at 1600. Suspect was compliant and docile. When asked about his identity, subject didn't answer and had no ID. Three bodies found inside, no others. The victims faces were mangled - we have not been able to identify them. One young adult female, two children. Wounds were too severe to tell gender on site, but autopsy results should be able to tell us. There are due in the next couple days. There have been many missing person reports recently and we are having trouble sorting through them to find clues. The suspect is being held currently and has not seen any visitors. First trial is next week. There should be no trouble pinning this on him. Supervisor has advised us to distance ourselves from this case, the big boss men are saying it will look bad in the public eye.


Doc 2 -
Prisoner intake form. Date - 5/16. Name - [Data Expunged].
Defining features - Brown hair, tall, slightly muscular. Has a tendency to heavily study his environment and refused to leave waiting area until he knew why there was a small crack in the floor. No other distinguishing marks or behavior to note. Intake successful. Prisoner has been given the serial number 106. Cell block A, cell number 1147 on maximum security level.


Doc 3 -
[Section taken from book "Aspects of Life: The Creation of All" by Dr. Kain].
Well before you were born, well before the Earth was born, well before the birth of time and space. Six beings came into existence. These beings were rulers over the domains that were allotted to them - Time, Space, the
Physical Realm, the Spiritual Realm, Emotions and Thought, and finally Knowledge - thought that is untainted by feeble emotion. The most powerful of all was Rak'Ki, the ruler of time. However, these beings were neutral. They created greatness, then let it take it's slow descent into madness. They were Creators, not leaders.

In order to move onto the next dimension, the six rulers (known as Titans to modern historians) created many lesser gods to maintain what they had created. Not to protect it's inhabitants, but to protect the fabric of the universe. In total, ninety-sever lesser gods were created, each to rule a specfic sub-set of thought and existence. They could not rival the Titans powers, but were enough to sustain the area once they left. The Titans spent some more time after this to shape the rest of the universe into what it was needed to be, while these lesser gods protected the new creations from any unintended effects.

The Lesser Gods soon grew tired of this and began a plot to overthrow the Titans. The Titans heard of this meeting and decided to meet together as well to discuss it(as they were on other sides of the dimension, creating what they wanted). This meeting led to them being called the Elder Council. The Lesser Gods could not win in a fair fight, so they used trickery and cunning to fight. Their plan was complex and intricate.

Every so often, the Titans would take a period of rest. During this time, the Lesser Gods attacked. They were able to get to Rak'Ki the god of time as well as Brih'Kell and Jithus, the gods of knowledge and space, respectively. They used their inner neutrality against them - the Lesser Gods pooled their powers to "pull" the spirits of good out of these three Titans. They believed that these good spirits would help them overthrow the Titans. However, it turned out very wrong. They did not pull the good spirits. Instead, spirits of evil were manifested. These evil spirits bore the same powers as their Titan brothers, but possessed a spirit of pure evil and hatred. Out of fear, the Lesser Gods put aside their differences with the Titans to combat this new foe. While the Titans were neutral, these three new manifestations threatened everything they had created. Humanity has dubbed these spirit the Twilight Gods, in order to differentiate them from the Titans.

The battle was short but devastating. The evil spirits of Brih'Kell and Jithus were obliterated, as well as the neutral Titan of Knowledge. The evil spirit of Rak'Ki (now known as Ki'Rak) was sealed away. The ruler of time is unable to be destroyed, so Jithus the Titan of space created a separate dimension for him where his powers were null and trapped him in it. He resides there to this day. Believing the threat to be over, the Titans left their unfinished creation to the Lesser Gods and went in search of new dimensions to forge. Over the eons, the Lesser Gods became old and tired, with some succumbing to death in absence of their Titan creators. There have been murmurings among the surviving ones that there is a plan in place to release the Twilight God Ki'Rak, which is however improbable as it is not actually possible. Such a plan requires the return of Rak'Ki, who is unable to be located and not coming back to this dimension ever again.

[The book goes on to talk about the various Lesser Gods and their domains.]


Doc 4 - Found among the ruins of an ancient temple in Peru, believed to be an area of worship to a god of some sort.
Speech notes, first draft. Archbishop Sin Kain. Dated 5/3.
Brothers. Sisters. Comrades. Instill aura of trust, emphasize how close we are to "our goal". Explain the preparations that must be made immediately in order to reach this goal. Emphasize speed and discreteness. We cannot rely on our allies for everything. Patronize the followers, motivate them, but not to the level of complacency. Remind them that the punishments are still in place and as painful as ever.

We must move quickly if we are to seize this moment, the opportunity may soon be gone. We will be moving to an unnamed location in Boston under the control of our allies. Speed is crucial, as stated before the less we rely on them the better. Let them keep their false sense of control. Close in a motivational statement that at the same time leaves hope out of their hands.

Doc 5 - Personal notes of Archbishop Sin Kain, found inside the ruins of the same temple mentioned in Doc 4.
It is truly flattering how these mindless fanatics follow every word I say. I wonder if their minds have escaped them at this point, I haven't heard a cohesive sentence from any one of the insects in weeks. However, the further ones mind is away from their actions, the easier it is to control. But I digress. The real thoughts are about The Master and these allies he seems to trust. I would follow him into Death, but I question their motives. Of course they cannot stop us at this point, but I would prefer that none of my pathetic followers perished. Their company can be quite enjoyable with their comic babel and constant grunting. It makes me wish for the days when a court jester was always by my side.

[Reminiscity]

The story sounds epic man! I'm in the same situation as you are. That is, not knowing 100% if amfp will allow cs and if not: are people still interested in playing cs? I've been planning my custom story for over a year now and has decided to get started with it since, as it seems, amfp won't have cs support.

I would count on no cs support considering Jens stated "no cs support" if I were you and finish the cs If they do make it possible to do cs for amfp at least you have everything planned out before starting.

[CarnivorousJelly]

I like the sounds of it. I'm actually kind of curious if the numbers used in this protagonist's name have any significance or if they were chosen at random.

Either way, I'm pretty sure AMFP will bring in more players, a lot of whom will probably download TDD (It is TDD by the way, not TTD) and the custom-story aspect is still as alluring as ever. If anything, do the CS for yourself because you enjoy it - not because people are going to play it.

[failedALIAS]

The story sounds very developed and strong. I can only hope your mapping skills match your great writing.

[JawlessWarrior]

I'm not too concerned about the amount of people playing my CS for the sake of playing it - I'm hoping more people = more critiques to make it better. If theres more people interested in it from the start, it'll be easier to make it better.

Yea, I know it's TDD... Misspelling, but I don't know how to edit the poll. Started writing it at like 12 AM, finally finished at 2, so I was a bit tired putting that in there. Honest mistake.

And no, my mapping skills don't match my writing skills. I do creative writing a lot and I think I can get a good story down, but this is only my third effort at making a full-length custom story. I will do my best though.

The number 106 is not a big part of the story. However, it wasn't chosen at random. It's got some roots to it, but you'll never know if you just breeze through the levels. I don't think I'm giving too much away when I say he was known as Prisoner #106.

EDIT: (Just throwing in an edit cause I hate bumping my own threads). I actually started looking at that thread recently. I've gotten up to page, like... 70ish? Good stuff there, actually got a lot of ideas from one of the first photos with a blue flower. In-game, I think it helps with the build tension then release formula most people have - having a moment like that helps to ease some of that tension when needed (or have them lower their guard for something brutal, heh).

[CarnivorousJelly]

My curiosity is piqued; I really hope this ends up being as great as its potential. Also, we don't bite on the forum - well, I don't - so you can always ask for help/advice with mapping :) The Screenshot Criticism Thread is where I leech my tips and tricks from :p Even if you don't want to post a screenshot and ask for direct feedback, a lot of the feedback applied to other screenshots is surprisingly relevant if you're willing to look at your maps in a critical light.

I was going to say 2am is quite late and you should get some sleep, but I realized it's almost 3am for me and that would be hypocritical, so keep being awesome :D

[JawlessWarrior]

(going to add more documents here. didn't want to self bump, but I don't want the first post to be cluttered either.)

Doc 6 - Boston location floor plan description. Written by High Deacon Darius Flinn.
The location is divided into four separate wings. The maker of the blueprint or the castle itself doesn't seem to be capable of high logical thought. The wings are labeled I, D, and H. The fourth has a special name that I need not mention. There doesn't seem to be a cohesive blueprint to this insane place, but I will do my best to provide as much information as I can.

The first wing has a strange design. It is listed on the blueprint as "I Wing", but the eccentric Archbishop seems to feel that "Infestation Wing" is more fitting. This wing is full of corridors that lead to dead ends, empty rooms, odd window placement, and many other ridiculous features. Just looking at the blueprint frustrates me. Visiting the area even more so. The immense damage done to this wing is not shown on the blueprint, and as such is not an accurate guide of the area. Trees growing out of nowhere, strange plant life, and flooding that defies logic and physics make this wing all but unusable. There is however a cellar down below that should provide some workable space, perhaps as a holding cell for our... captive. But said cell must be erected quickly.

The second wing is what I would expect of a run down castle. The blueprint lists it as "D Wing", but again Archbishop Kain insists on a more descriptive name. The "Decrepit Wing". I have my doubts that the damage done to this wing is due to neglect alone. This space is more workable than the I Wing, but still has some unusable areas and obstacles to traverse. I do not recommend this area for heavy use. Perhaps send the less cultured workers here to clean up the debris.

The third and most interesting wing is listed as the "H Wing". I have not gotten a chance to visit this area, but the information is simply astounding. The Archbishop is the only one of us to have seen it, and his magnificent brain has decided on the name "Horror Wing" because of the huge amounts of space and what seems like hallway after hallway traversing a large void. The space is not usable at all, the workers would most likely fall into these voids without proper direction. But an interesting study nonetheless. Perhaps send a couple of the smarter workers escorted by High DeaconFillion and observe them.

The fourth wing is what The Master wants. I will not write about this wing.

Doc 7 - High Deacon Garland's notes on worker productivity.
Another one died today. Another one. I don't understand. I've told the Archbishop EXACTLY what I needed and the idiot still doesn't answer me. I cannot continue to lead a bunch of buffoons like this. Soon I'll have to be doing the labor. H Wing is a dead end. There is nothing here and no way to safely study the voids. I cannot be expected to babysit every single one of these drones to make sure they don't accidentally step into oblivion.

Doc 8 - High Deacon Darius Flinn's letter to the Archbishop regarding the state of I Wing.
I pray by now you have read my previous letter. Upon further exploration, the state of this wing drastically falls as we move deeper. Some rooms can be reclaimed, but not enough to be sufficient. Work must be done. Trees moved, walls rebuilt, and various support structures must be reinforced. It will take the whole six months just to get the rooms ready for the rituals, let alone actually starting them. I request to be transferred to the fourth wing. As the senior Deacon, I believe it is my right to have the better work area. Please consider this request with the utmost urgency.

[Bridge]

I'm impressed with the general idea you have going on (the Lovecraft influence is very clear - not in a derivative sort of a way though). Still, I have some problems with it, which I will list here:

1. Personally I'd drop the whole [Data Expunged] thing. It's too reminiscent of SCP and really disconnects the reader (me, at least) from what's going on. Even if you have to use the whole theme of crossing out information that is too horrible you can do it in more subtle ways. I get the whole creating mystique thing and I fully encourage it, but the way you use this theme is too convenient and it feels completely transparent. You can only have the name of some strange Cthulhoid monster or the master plan behind the whatever accidentally smudged out so many times before it becomes distracting. You can certainly use it a few times to great effect but it is kind of your main literary device at this point and personally I'm not a fan of it.
2. The amount of imagination given to the different wings is more becoming of an infant than a storyteller. You could do this thing where the workers refer to such and such by nicknames, for example, the blueprint says Wing C (or Eastern wing or whatever you can think of) and the ignorant, superstitious workers refer to it as "The wing of horrors". Then after that the player finds out why. Having these simplistic and transparent names be the actual official names given to them by presumably the architect doesn't really appeal to me. Even if the building was designed by one of these cultists it would make more sense to name each wing after a separate god (since you have three evil ones, right?) or something along those lines.
   

I don't know, just random ideas. Do with them as you will. Otherwise I am loving the whole cult vibe and I agree with the other people here that this has immense potential.

[JawlessWarrior]

I'm impressed with the general idea you have going on (the Lovecraft influence is very clear - not in a derivative sort of a way though). Still, I have some problems with it, which I will list here:

1. Personally I'd drop the whole [Data Expunged] thing. It's too reminiscent of SCP and really disconnects the reader (me, at least) from what's going on. Even if you have to use the whole theme of crossing out information that is too horrible you can do it in more subtle ways. I get the whole creating mystique thing and I fully encourage it, but the way you use this theme is too convenient and it feels completely transparent. You can only have the name of some strange Cthulhoid monster or the master plan behind the whatever accidentally smudged out so many times before it becomes distracting. You can certainly use it a few times to great effect but it is kind of your main literary device at this point and personally I'm not a fan of it.
2. The amount of imagination given to the different wings is more becoming of an infant than a storyteller. You could do this thing where the workers refer to such and such by nicknames, for example, the blueprint says Wing C (or Eastern wing or whatever you can think of) and the ignorant, superstitious workers refer to it as "The wing of horrors". Then after that the player finds out why. Having these simplistic and transparent names be the actual official names given to them by presumably the architect doesn't really appeal to me. Even if the building was designed by one of these cultists it would make more sense to name each wing after a separate god (since you have three evil ones, right?) or something along those lines.
   

I don't know, just random ideas. Do with them as you will. Otherwise I am loving the whole cult vibe and I agree with the other people here that this has immense potential.

Edit: Post deleted.
I believe I have corrected the problems you had. Sorry for the misunderstanding - thought you were saying that you don't like the fact that I removed data. I thought that the recurring phrase created a sense of power - who ever was doing it had enough control over the documents to completely block out data. Re-reading a few more times, however, it did get repetitive. Never played SCP, the game never interested me. The correlation was coincidence, but I'm glad you brought that up.

[Bridge]

I can't reveal the whole idea about the expunged data thing... it makes sense in the of the story, but it would reveal too much to say why. Some of the information has to be kept secret, but some of it should be known and available for the player to keep in mind while playing. In game, there won't be any notes like that. I'll try to find some workarounds for the ones I have here, but I also want them to look like official documents - it wouldn't look official if they just skipped over important information, and again the removal of the data is a large part of the story.

Perhaps you misunderstood. I was mainly objecting to the use of the term "Data Expunged" explicitly. I do not know why they chose the word "expunged" but typically it has a different meaning and to my knowledge those two words have never been used to signify a gap in whatever the document in question is. I'd rather use ellipses or if you want to use some familiar imagery just have it crossed out with a black marker. Either way it's just a suggestion - I feel the use of those exact words is too evocative of SCP, which I do not feel is a positive thing.