Lit up by a monitor

[FlawlessHappiness]

Hi friends.

My dad just told me that there is a debate about whether it's good or not sitting in front of a computer most of the time.
The debate was going on about what happens when you don't get much contact with physical* people.

*Someone present in front of you

What happens?
Do we get asocial and slowly cry ourselves to sleep everynight until depression kills us...?
Do we become resistant, and change life cyclus, only to stay up at night?
What happens?

I myself am sitting most of the time by the computer. Usually I come home from school, then do my homework and ends the day by playing videogames or level editing in Amnesia the Dark Descent.
At this time I'm also Skyping with the friends I have.

It should be said that I'm not the most social person in school. I usually keep my own business, but I'm not afraid of being confronted, talking to classmates that I know of or say something in class.
I am shy when it comes to strangers though. It's hard to start a friendship to someone when being shy. Right now I have one or two guys that I look at as my actual friends.
Others are either classmates, past actual friends that I'm not seeing anymore because of distance and people that i know who are.

I'm not bad in school. I'm actually one of the best in my class (That's how I look see myself at least), because most of those in my class aren't doing homework or being lazy in school.
I haven't had a single day off in school because of sickness last year.
I'm neither overweight or underweight, and I bike 12 kilometres every schoolday.
(Sorry for the introduction of my life... Hi)

My only problem is probably my social life.

So what are you thoughts on this?
Any tips?
Tips like, "Just go out and talk to some strangers!", are pretty hard to follow.

I hope all of you are better than me

[The chaser]

Sincerely, I have noted something and it's that computers are quite like a sanctuary that keeps off reality for many people (me, you, many people from here...)
The computer itself isn't bad though, what determinates if it's good or bad is the use you give to it: If you play and do stuff for a few hours and you still do all your stuff and you're happy, it's completely fine. However, if you spend more time on the computer and forgetting real-life business (I know people who do this) then it's time to re-think your actions. Ask yourself "why do I spend so much time?" give yourself an answer, a lot of times we do stuff, but we don't know about it.

About the friends thing: The important isn't to have a lot of friends, just, to be kind and to know how to treat people. Keep your best friends because these are the ones which are worth it.

[FlawlessHappiness]

Sincerely, I have noted something and it's that computers are quite like a sanctuary that keeps off reality for many people (me, you, many people from here...)
The computer itself isn't bad though, what determinates if it's good or bad is the use you give to it: If you play and do stuff for a few hours and you still do all your stuff and you're happy, it's completely fine. However, if you spend more time on the computer and forgetting real-life business (I know people who do this) then it's time to re-think your actions. Ask yourself "why do I spend so much time?" give yourself an answer, a lot of times we do stuff, but we don't know about it.

Well, I know why I'm there... It's fun and entertaining. And apparently I'm not getting that from partying with friends.

About the friends thing: The important isn't to have a lot of friends, just, to be kind and to know how to treat people. Keep your best friends because these are the ones which are worth it.

True stuff It just feels weird when it looks like everybody know the people that passes by

[The chaser]

Sincerely, I have noted something and it's that computers are quite like a sanctuary that keeps off reality for many people (me, you, many people from here...)
The computer itself isn't bad though, what determinates if it's good or bad is the use you give to it: If you play and do stuff for a few hours and you still do all your stuff and you're happy, it's completely fine. However, if you spend more time on the computer and forgetting real-life business (I know people who do this) then it's time to re-think your actions. Ask yourself "why do I spend so much time?" give yourself an answer, a lot of times we do stuff, but we don't know about it.

Well, I know why I'm there... It's fun and entertaining. And apparently I'm not getting that from partying with friends.

About the friends thing: The important isn't to have a lot of friends, just, to be kind and to know how to treat people. Keep your best friends because these are the ones which are worth it.

True stuff It just feels weird when it looks like everybody know the people that passes by

"Well, I know why I'm there... It's fun and entertaining. And apparently I'm not getting that from partying with friends."

Well, then it's completely fine.

"True stuff It just feels weird when it looks like everybody know the people that passes by"

Only two types of people usually do that:

Popular guys that want to keep their status that have fear of losing friends, and popular girls (usually with big breasts)

So, keep BeeKayKing!

[FlawlessHappiness]

Only two types of people usually do that:

Popular guys that want to keep their status that have fear of losing friends, and popular girls (usually with big breasts)

So, keep BeeKayKing!

I'm pretty sure we're past that stage... but what do I know. Thanks

[DavidS]

This does not exactly fit into the topic, but through the two parts it does adress some interesting points:

[FlawlessHappiness]

This does not exactly fit into the topic, but through the two parts it does adress some interesting points:

Interesting Thanks for the input.
It made me feel better about myself at least.
I hope, but don't think so though, that this would be the end conclusion in this debate

[Peci]

You write about an interesting topic, so I want to share my own experiences. My path hasn’t been exactly the same as yours, but it has similarities.

First I want to tell where I’m “coming from”. I’m probably at least a decade older than you, and somewhere the “system” wants me to be: Master’s done, married and my wife is pregnant. I have also always been quite a social nerd, but still a nerd. A great part of my life has been and still is “lit up by a monitor”.

Have you heard the cliché “He/She should stop for a while and think about his/her life”. Well, it works the other way around too. I am quite an analytical person, as you also seem to be. Being alone with one’s thoughts too much AND being an analytical person is a bad combo. Thinking and analyzing one’s life is a good thing, but when you start to ponder the same things over and over again, problems start to look much larger than they really are. When you notice this, it’s best just to get some distraction. Thinking about it doesn’t help, it just makes it worse.

What about gaming then? I don’t have to tell about the good sides of gaming to a person who likes games. The reasons are obvious. But I have noticed that when I have been the most addicted, even obsessed to games (especially MMOs) there was something lacking in my life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something critical, it could simply be that real life at the moment felt boring for some reason.

In my personal experience using lot of time for gaming isn’t that bad when you are in compulsory school. If you are smart, as you seem to be, good grades come without much effort. The challenges start, when you don’t necessarily _have_ to do anything. University is a great example for this. The target is years away, and you don’t see any noticeable progress. It’s easy to get distracted. This is also the time you don’t _have_ to see other people that much, if you don’t want to.

So all in all, there is at least one important reason to see real people – they work as a reality check. You get to see life in real proportions. If you just read stuff from the screen, and look at the pictures and stories in social media, where people deliberately shape their image to look as good as possible, it gives a wrong picture.

I’m not going to give any cliché tips how to “make friends” but I’d like to give an advice. If you are faced with an option to either a) go somewhere with real people you like or b) stay home and play, try to pick option a. Especially if the b-option always feels “easier”.

[FlawlessHappiness]

Have you heard the cliché “He/She should stop for a while and think about his/her life”. Well, it works the other way around too. I am quite an analytical person, as you also seem to be. Being alone with one’s thoughts too much AND being an analytical person is a bad combo. Thinking and analyzing one’s life is a good thing, but when you start to ponder the same things over and over again, problems start to look much larger than they really are. When you notice this, it’s best just to get some distraction. Thinking about it doesn’t help, it just makes it worse.

I can definetly relate to this! I know the feeling of thinking too much, when you sit in a silent room and is just by yourself.

What about gaming then? I don’t have to tell about the good sides of gaming to a person who likes games. The reasons are obvious. But I have noticed that when I have been the most addicted, even obsessed to games (especially MMOs) there was something lacking in my life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something critical, it could simply be that real life at the moment felt boring for some reason.

Have you heard the cliché “He/She should stop for a while and think about his/her life”. Well, it works the other way around too. I am quite an analytical person, as you also seem to be. Being alone with one’s thoughts too much AND being an analytical person is a bad combo. Thinking and analyzing one’s life is a good thing, but when you start to ponder the same things over and over again, problems start to look much larger than they really are. When you notice this, it’s best just to get some distraction. Thinking about it doesn’t help, it just makes it worse.

I can definetly relate to this!

What about gaming then? I don’t have to tell about the good sides of gaming to a person who likes games. The reasons are obvious. But I have noticed that when I have been the most addicted, even obsessed to games (especially MMOs) there was something lacking in my life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something critical, it could simply be that real life at the moment felt boring for some reason.

I've never thought about this. And you're right. My life isn't very interesting right now at this point. Question is if it's my own fault or...
But I think you're right

I’m not going to give any cliché tips how to “make friends” but I’d like to give an advice. If you are faced with an option to either a) go somewhere with real people you like or b) stay home and play, try to pick option a. Especially if the b-option always feels “easier”.

Yes! That's a great tip! Thanks. Great thing to consider when you're faced with a decision.
Thank you for the input. It's nice to hear, even though you're older than me. Others experiences count

[Nice]

What happens?
Do we get asocial and slowly cry ourselves to sleep everynight until depression kills us...?
Do we become resistant, and change life cyclus, only to stay up at night?
What happens?

I myself am sitting most of the time by the computer. Usually I come home from school, then do my homework and ends the day by playing videogames or level editing in Amnesia the Dark Descent.
At this time I'm also Skyping with the friends I have.

It should be said that I'm not the most social person in school. I usually keep my own business, but I'm not afraid of being confronted, talking to classmates that I know of or say something in class.
I am shy when it comes to strangers though. It's hard to start a friendship to someone when being shy. Right now I have one or two guys that I look at as my actual friends.
My only problem is probably my social life.

So what are you thoughts on this?
Any tips?
Tips like, "Just go out and talk to some strangers!", are pretty hard to follow.

I hope all of you are better than me

staying alone infront of the computer all the time does slowly destroy your social skills and you may slowly lose the grip of reality. As silly as it sounds, that does slowly and eventually happen.

Also, going outside gives you plenty of different experiences, teaches you some life lessons and you get a different look on people and world.

Now as for your personal description, you dont look and sound like someone that really has any extreme issues or stuff so dont worry too much about it.

As for me, i used to be REALLY shy of meeting and talking with people back when i was younger (somewhere around puberty), i didn't hang out much with anyone except with my school mates in school. Then i remember that one of the guys in school which i went along with pretty good had the idea that we should hang out more and outside of school aswell. So i decided to spend a lil' less time playing games and working out alone at home and give it a shot. After the first time of hanging out with my school mates (just the ones i get along with good) i realized how much fun it is, so we started going out everyday in the evening, play some basketball together or go for a pizza. Slowly we started meeting up new people outside and our group grew bigger and bigger, and after meeting new people like that and observing how my friends accepted them into the group i started to learn from them to be a bit more confident and that there's lots of cool people outside, you just gotta meet them. That's probably the main highlight of it

That random guy you walked by, could just aswell be your best friend if you gave it a shot and tried talking to him a bit, first about general stuff then go a bit deeper, if yknow what i mean. For example, i hang out now with people that i'd never thought i would..kinda like "Oh wait, he's not so bad as i thought!"

But just so we're clear i'm not the guy that is friend of everyone or talks to everyone lol, i'm VERY far from that and even i have some issues right now with stuff like this (just not as much as i did before). For example, i'm really bad with talking to girls because usually our interests just dont match up and i cant find the subject to discuss about. So if there's a girl that i can chat with daily that probably means i'm really liking her and find her awesome lol.

anyway i have lots of issues like this in which i could go in great depth here and write a dozens of huge wall of texts about it but my story is not the point in this thread

So anyways just in short. Give it a shot, go out with the people you like more often, go for a drink or something and chat about stuff, as you will your social skills will slowly rise higher and you'll be more open to people