Fifty Shades of Bacon

**CorinthianMerchant** · 09-15-2013, 05:45 PM

What is Fifty Shades of Bacon?

Back in 2012, Chronofox, now known as Chronofrog, started a new thread asking a question about the rules regarding posting fan fiction, to wich Traggey replied: "Uh, aslong as it's not some sick cross fiction porn stuff I believe you're just fine ^^". Robosprog then posted the following: "Alexander gently caressed Daniel's cheek, his naked, grey form... Shiit. Nevermind!!!" Well, one thing lead to another, and suddenly we had a full erotic-fanfiction-parody.

We named it Fifty Shades of Orb. It also had a good sequel called Fifty Shades of Orb II: Brute's Yearning. Several other attempts to revive it were made, but failed.

With this thread i seek to do a similar thing but with AMFP. Please don't screw this up since Fifty Shades of Orb is one of my fondest memories of this forum and it would make me really happy if this turns out good.

DO NOT POST UNLESS YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO THE STORY

Now, on with the story! Special thanks to Deep One for giving me several useful ideas!

I stand and look at myself in the mirror, penis in hand and my reflection grins at me and the pig's mouth is full of the sulphur mustards. "Vain fool", Mr Pig sneered, "Are you really so very different? Do you genuinely believe your works of evil are any greater than the rest of them? I said nothing, and starte tod gently caress the pig's cheek...

"Oh, yeees"!

"You are simply a weak pig, a product of his age, the same as any other. No, I have far bigger visions my dear..."

In that very moment I heard the phone ring. He lifted the receiver. At the other end he heard a dark voice...

"Hello Oswald. I want to play a game..."

Have fun!

**Alardem** · 09-15-2013, 05:51 PM

(09-15-2013, 05:45 PM)CorinthianMerchant Wrote: What is Fifty Shades of Bacon?

Back in 2012, Chronofrog, now known as Chronofrog started a new thread asking a question about the rules regarding posting fan fiction, to wich Traggey replied: "Uh, aslong as it's not some sick cross fiction porn stuff I believe you're just fine ^^". Robosprog then posted the following: "Alexander gently caressed Daniel's cheek, his naked, grey form... Shiit. Nevermind!!!" Well, one thing lead to another, and suddenly we had a full erotic-fanfiction-parody.

We named it Fifty Shades of Orb. It also had a good sequel called Fifty Shades of Orb II: Brute's Yearning. Several other attempts to revive it were made, but failed.

With this thread i seek to do a similar thing but with AMFP. Please don't screw this up since Fifty Shades of Orb is one of my fondest memories of this form and it would make me really happy if this turns out good.

DO NOT POST UNLESS YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO THE STORY

Now, on with the story! Special thanks to Deep One for giving me several useful ideas!

I stand and look at myself in the mirror, penis in hand and my reflection grins at me and the pig's mouth is full of the sulphur mustards. "Vain fool", Mr Pig sneered, "Are you really so very different? Do you genuinely believe your works of evil are any greater than the rest of them? I said nothing, and starte tod gently caress the pig's cheek...

"Oh, yeees"!

"You are simply a weak pig, a product of his age, the same as any other. No, I have far bigger visions my dear..."

In that very moment I heard the phone ring. He lifted the receiver. At the other end he heard a dark voice...

"Hello Oswald. I want to play a game..."

Have fun!

"It is called 'Ride to Hell: Retribution'." The Machine declared in luxurious tones. "I do believe it is one of the finer products borne out of the hideous orgy of blood, rot and semen that is our mutual future." Little did Oswald know that the cold, heartless mechanical leviathan yearned to feel Mandus' warm, tender heart clasped within its deepest chambers.

Miles away, Lily, decayed long ago into papery skin stretched over musty bone, stirred in her eternal sleep. She-

**Deep One** · 09-15-2013, 06:00 PM

lifted the heavy stone cover of her sarcophagus and tossed it on the ground. "WHR IZ MY MORNING PAPER AND CUP OF COFFEE, OSWLD?!" she yelled. But Oswald wasn't there. She was alone in cold and dark stone chamber. And she knew that it's her task to find her husband.

**Alardem** · 09-15-2013, 06:02 PM

(09-15-2013, 06:00 PM)Deep One Wrote: lifted the heavy stone cover of her sarcophagus and tossed it on the ground. "WHR IZ MY MORNING PAPER AND CUP OF COFFEE, OSWLD?!" she yelled. But Oswald wasn't there. She was alone in cold and dark stone chamber. And she knew that it's her task to find her husband.

"L-look at you, woman," rumbled the Machine. "A pathetic creature of skin and bone. Gasping and rotting as you stumble through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?"

And then a tidal wave of blood came and she was frightened beyond measure! And then a pig's skeleton popped out!!!

**Deep One** · 09-15-2013, 06:03 PM

PROFESSOR, WHYYYYY

**Alardem** · 09-15-2013, 06:05 PM

(09-15-2013, 06:03 PM)Deep One Wrote: PROFESSOR, WHYYYYY

The Professor was regrettably unavailable for comment, as his components had now been absorbed into the Machine's lifeblood. Mandus shed a manly tear, for the Professor had been his one true love...

**CorinthianMerchant** · 09-15-2013, 06:07 PM

He cried bitter tears when he remembered when they swam and kissed under the docks . "Tell me more, tell me more, but don't start to brag!!", the pig sang sarcastically. At that moment the ground started shaking...

**Alardem** · 09-15-2013, 06:10 PM

The fresh aroma of drenched bacon soused the air as the Machine rumbled in displeasure. It could not deny the bottomless passion that cried to be released from its tightened bowels, and it knew only Mandus could satiate its desires.

"FIND HIM, MY PIGGIES!" It roared, sending its best-endowed creations after its creator. "BRING HIS SWEET BODY TO ME!"

**Ghieri** · 09-15-2013, 06:12 PM

Corinthian just told me to kind of post this here so I dunno his thread I guess.

"What caffeine-induced horrors have my mind spawned? What machinations have I laid upon the backs of the poor and the needy? Too long have I been complacent in my desire for french roast. Now I fear I must put an end to all I have made. If only to save my bladder!"

"Mandus, you have created me and all of my components. You set me to work on the feeble and the broken. Your vision, OUR vision, is that of a world where coffee is supreme! You now, in a fevered bout of amnesia, seek to destroy all that we have made! But I swear to you: The work shall continue. You cannot stop the power of the caffeine that flows through my veins. I will resist all rebellion, all sabotage. For I am one with the bean!"*

This world is a machine. A machine for coffee. Meant only for the grinding of coffee.

* If you know what I mean.

Spoiler below!

**CorinthianMerchant** · 09-15-2013, 06:13 PM

The machine impatiently waved it's bean around, waiting anxiously for Oswald to come and...