Depression

[Froge]

Sometimes, all it takes to make your day happier is a good, long laugh.

[Kreekakon]

Yeah, don't let anyone downplay what you're feeling just because you're a young fella. When I was in my teenage years, going through this same shit, I constantly heard things like "depressed? What do YOU have to be depressed about? You have no worries!" as if depression only strikes people with phone bills and unruly children.

I honestly believe that many of the teenage suicides we hear about could have been avoided had the kids in question been taken seriously. It certainly contributed to my own suicide attempt when I was 18; the frustration and the anger of being ignored or trivialised by some the people closest to me really made things more unbearable than they needed to be.

Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" or "pull yourself together", and don't let anyone make you feel like you're exaggerating or making a big deal out of something which "all kids go through". It's all bullshit.

I don't want to sound like a complete dick, but I honestly really DO think it really is a phase that all people go through in one way, or another.

Look at it this way from what I inferred from the posts I quoted from you. You say that you had suicide thoughts which were somewhat contributed from being trivialized by people close to you. If that was so, then why are you still here now, and not dead? I'd take a guess, and assume that you just got over it at some point.

I personally have also gone through similar phases where I felt depressed, and occasionally had suicidal thoughts, but they've all evaporated now. I guess that it has either been a result of, or have contributed to a view I now have on life that "Shit happens. Get over it, and complaining won't help anyone at all". Just a personal view on life though. Not something I'd impose on anyone else.

With that all being said I understand that the case may be different for everyone, and that it certainly helps to have friends, and family help you deal with it in the way that you need!

I'm just saying that while I do agree it is not something that should be trivialized, it is perhaps a tad silly to call it something else than really a phase that we go all may go through, and eventually get over at similar points in life that we deal with in different ways.

[SchnidlersLeest]

Look at it this way from what I inferred from the posts I quoted from you. You say that you had suicide thoughts which were somewhat contributed from being trivialized by people close to you. If that was so, then why are you still here now, and not dead? I'd take a guess, and assume that you just got over it at some point.

It's not that you "get over it." It wasn't like some sort of emotional attachment or irrationality that led you to be suicidal. The people around you were assholes and you fought through it. It's not like committing suicide is something people want to do. It's choosing between two bad things and figuring out which is better.

I personally have also gone through similar phases where I felt depressed, and occasionally had suicidal thoughts, but they've all evaporated now. I guess that it has either been a result of, or have contributed to a view I now have on life that "Shit happens. Get over it, and complaining won't help anyone at all". Just a personal view on life though. Not something I'd impose on anyone else.

Well of course having been suicidal has affected your outlook on life. Your view of the world is shaped by your experiences, particularly when you are a child and an adolescent. The "shit happens and you gotta deal with it, don't complain" is in response to the fact that you went through some really hard shit and nobody tried to help you, and that's pretty terrible to happen to someone, and really shouldn't happen to children and teenagers.

I'm really sympathetic with the fact that you went through all this and anyone who does go through this. I think people started calling it a "phase" since it became so common, and it was a way of excusing parents from fucking up their kids' lives. It's referred to like its just some irrational feeling or anxiety you get when you're a teenager, but the reality is that we go through this for a reason.

[Kreekakon]

I'm really sympathetic with the fact that you went through all this and anyone who does go through this. I think people started calling it a "phase" since it became so common, and it was a way of excusing parents from fucking up their kids' lives. It's referred to like its just some irrational feeling or anxiety you get when you're a teenager, but the reality is that we go through this for a reason.

This view of mine on life is kind of a bit besides the point of what I was saying earlier, but I feel like offering a bit more of clarification on my end about it.

Actually it's not as pessimistic a view on life as you may it sound for me anyways. It's actually an optimistic twist on the view. I generally view that bad things will always happen at some point in life, and instead of complaining about it you should try to do things that make your life happier in comparison! Also, if the thing is just a passby thing which just "happens", and can't really be solved...well then treat it just as a passby thing! It's over when it's over, and no point in making yourself sadder by moaning about it!

As non-sense making as this may sound, I actually think of this as a positive form of moderately "not giving a damn" about some things. It's not me being bitter about things, and not caring. It's more leaning towards being optimistic about bad circumstances, and learning to deal with it...one of many which ways which is to learn when not to be too bothered by some things. Again I stress I do this in a cheerful light rather than a bitter one.

In a nutshell, I think a proper phrase for it would be...."a cheerful form of stoicism"?

EDIT:

It's referred to like its just some irrational feeling or anxiety you get when you're a teenager, but the reality is that we go through this for a reason.

To me at least looking back now...that's exactly what I remember it as: Me just not thinking straight, and thinking nonsense at the time.

[SchnidlersLeest]

To me at least looking back now...that's exactly what I remember it as: Me just not thinking straight, and thinking nonsense at the time.

Even if you weren't thinking clearly due to the amount of anxiety you were feeling, there was a reason for that anxiety as well.

[Kreekakon]

Even if you weren't thinking clearly due to the amount of anxiety you were feeling, there was a reason for that anxiety as well.

The point I was trying to get at was that even though there may have been such a reason for me thinking that way, the "now me" does not regard it really as something that massively important in retrospective, and just something I went through, and got over which in reality wasn't that huge a deal now that I think about it.

To offer more clarification...the things I was worrying about back then were grades. Just grades. I find it really silly now that with all the other stuff I have to worry about as of now (Which by the way I cope with just fine), grades were something that were freaking me out.

[SchnidlersLeest]

The point I was trying to get at was that even though there may have been such a reason for me thinking that way, the "now me" does not regard it really as something that massively important in retrospective, and just something I went through, and got over which in reality wasn't that huge a deal now that I think about it

Getting past suicide seems like a pretty big life deal to me. But I assume you're talking what caused those thoughts. If your reaction to something in your life was irrational, then why were you thinking wrongly? What caused you to see things incorrectly is what I'm saying. IMO seems like it's usually the parents/caregivers having lied and whole lot to their children.

To offer more clarification...the things I was worrying about back then were grades. Just grades.

Exactly, and who caused you to obsess over your grades? Your parents and your teachers. I would say that's being responsible for your suicidal thoughts.

[Kreekakon]

Getting past suicide seems like a pretty big life deal to me.

Ok I should probably put this out there before any misunderstandings arise: I was never serious about suicide as many other people may have been, mostly just upset.

Like it I said it was mainly grades that were freaking me out, and I would feel terrible when I got bad ones, and occasionally get fleeting thoughts like "Oh damn I suck I want to kill myself"

But that's all they were: Fleeting thoughts. I never, ever seriously thought about killing myself, and at most I was just really upset.

If your reaction to something in your life was irrational, then why were you thinking wrongly? What caused you to see things incorrectly is what I'm saying.

Because I was being ridiculous. Really, I'm serious. I should know myself better than anyone, and looking back now no one imposed these thoughts on me besides myself. It really was me being ridiculous about trivial things that shouldn't have bothered me that much. No one else had ever imposed such feelings on me. Seriously, that's what I gather when thinking back on my life.

[Ashtoreth]

Suicidal thoughts ≠ suicide attempt

Depressive mood ≠ depressive disorder

Please everyone, keep these differences in mind.

[SchnidlersLeest]

Because I was being ridiculous. Really, I'm serious. I should know myself better than anyone, and looking back now no one imposed these thoughts on me besides myself. It really was me being ridiculous about trivial things that shouldn't have bothered me that much. No one else had ever imposed such feelings on me. Seriously, that's what I gather when thinking back on my life.

Stop trying to blame yourself. Your living the narrative that your parents used because it worked for them. If you were thinking ridiculously and they knew that, why didn't they try to help you?

I understand you may have just felt stressed out, but if your feelings reach a point of suicidal thoughts, that says to me there was more than just the concept of grades giving you anxiety.