It's 1934, your an American named Norman Black. You're about to go work secretly at "The Black Eagle Castle" after a desperate need for money during The Great Depression. The castle has a dark history stretching all the way back to the beginning of the 13th century.
RE: The Black Eagle Castle: Chapter I - The Arrival
(02-15-2016, 12:29 AM)Frictional Daily Wrote: You're an urban explore who explores a recently abandoned and infamous castle known as, "The Black Eagle Castle". The castle has a dark history stretching all the way back to the beginning of the 13th century.
RE: The Black Eagle Castle: Chapter I - The Arrival
Gonna download and leave feedback here soon.
Feedback:
Please note I'm also putting in nitpicks in my feedback, as this is what I do with my own mods.
Sorry for the longwindedness of this post, feel free to disregard any of it.
Spoiler below!
-Not sure if this is fixable but in the very opening there is a distinct line of where the fog and light meet the inside of the cave.
-Impressed with the first opening bit, especially all the rats littered about. Very neat.
-The first screen loading text read a bit odd. "The tunnel's secret passage was made for the servants so that they could enter the castle to important destinations in a more fast and convenient way." I'd maybe change this to: "The tunnel's secret passage allowed for the servants to enter the castle, quickly and conveniently, to reach their (desired) destination." Just personal, but "important destination" feels weird.
-Extra period in the mechanism memento.
-Had to restart because I could not figure out that first puzzle. Pretty sure I got one of the books stuck.
-Actually, it seems that after the books reset the first time, the book in the back corner by the two locked doors becomes stuck and there's nothing you can do about it (for the player). I would recommend trying to make the puzzle also a little more clear, but since one of the books becomes stuck, it's hard for me to deduce solving the puzzle. I have to keep reloading from the dev tools. It's really very tedious.
-I actually opened up the map and the hps file to figure out what to do next and honestly, hiding a key like that on top of the bed with no hints of it being up there, kind of mean. I'll use my own mod as an example. There is a rod hiding on top of one of the beds, BUT there's a chair leaning against the bed. I'm not saying to do that exact same thing, but do something to subtly suggest to the player to look there.
-Having gotten farther and noting the last book in the office, it is definitely imperative to fix that broken book.
-Dead naked dude falling out of a wardrobe.... It's a little stale. Having read the note though, I'd maybe change it to just being some blood stains or chunks of human flesh in there.
-The music accompanying the notes is a bit much. It was so loud and intense, I had to wait until it was done to read the note (which was a very good note, by the way; very spooky and unsettling).
-End of the second map: the grunt is in a rather tricky spot. I'm not sure what to offer in substitution (usually I don't like recommending changes unless I can think of something that would be more helpful). In this case it just feels like the grunt is wasted. It's far too early in the story and he's easy to run past, there is no challenge, and with the loading text saying "What is that thing?", well if we run without looking at him then it feels rather pointless. I'm not trying to sound harsh here, but just trying to make you aware of being able to better utilize your Grunt.
-Phonograph and map music fighting for dominance has resulted in my ears being confused.
-Another extra period in the elevator memento.
-"The machine room had many pipes that slithered along the walls like a snake.. While the machine itself needed to be feed more coal by the servants." 'Feed' should be 'fed'. Extra period again. Sorry, I'm a grammar nazi sometimes. It really irks me.
-The 8 up 8 down puzzle was very well done. Very creative use of that box. Voice over for the note wasn't entirely necessary though.
-In general, I'm really liking the layout of the maps. They need more detail work though as they feel rather empty. (This is something I myself have trouble with and it takes time.)
-I must have missed it, but where exactly was the story? I'm not trying to sound like a butt here, but I've no idea who I was playing as or what was happening. Where was I, why was I there? Looking back and rereading the snippet in the custom story menu, it makes sense, but I saw none of that reflected in the mod itself.
Do forgive the length here. There is potential, but a lot of work still needs to be done here. If I had to rate it right now, I'd say maybe a 4 out 10. With some work though, this could definitely be pretty good. The imagination is there.
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The Black Eagle Castle: Chapter I - The Arrival
