A Unicorn Story! (dont get tricked by the cute name!)

[ari]

Hey Guy! just got the idea to upload some pics of my full conversion story i am working on, I call it : A unicorn story! Its a story about a father that have a young girl that hear strange voices, and one night the girl just walks out in to the forest, and the father follows her and stranger and stranger stuff happens and the father gets lost! i haven't really come so far at this moment, but im really trying to create a good scary forest envoirment! at the moment i've made 18 custom bushes and trees and made some scary ambiece music and forest sounds, but like i said its far from finished!




(im maybe 12% done)

[Kman]

Story sounds awful but screenshots look promising.

Pretty much, sorry to break it to you man by that is probably the weakest story I've seen in a custom story in a long time, and the name is just... No. The screenshots do not look all that bad, but it you don't have a good story to back up your environments your mod will most likely fail.

[ElectricRed]

I personally like the story! It's simple, and sometimes the most effective horror is. However, it doesn't seem like English is your first language, so before you release it make sure to get someone to edit it for you.

[Adny]

Well, at least I know why story in custom stories have dropped so much in quality, standards are so low.
Never, would this be a good story.

I agree with senor Red. Why would someone give out their entire story on their page? You're supposed to give out as little detail as possible and capture the interests of others, not tell the entire story. It's obvious OP's primary language isn't English, so I wouldn't be surprised if his masterful story telling got lost somewhere in Google translate and/or he had to cut a lot of it out and leave basic information.

[Akos115]

Good idea for the story! I always knew that unicorns are evil... 0.o

[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Now I don't want to start a lengthy discussion, or insult any storywriters here, but I do not really understand this...almost elitist mindset that you would need a downright Shakespearean PLOT to make a good custom story. Plot is only one aspect of storytelling and when it comes to games maybe not even the most important one. (other ones being for example theme, setting, characters...) Slender didn't have a plot at all but people still found it amazing simply because of the great setting and the horrifying character of Slenderman.

So maybe one shouldn't judge too hastily just because the plot seems a bit cliché. I think this could be a very interesting Custom Story. The setting is atmospheric and the characters could also turn out to be very interesting once you learn more about their background and motivations.

I agree though, let someone proof-read your translation before the release. (And use a few less exclamation marks...)

Edit:

And you know nothing about the characters so judging anything about themis a poor decision, since all we know is he goes into a forest because of noises.

Exactly. That's why I asked people not to judge them. Also, like I said, I don't think this thread is the right place to start a lengthy discussion about the basics of storytelling. Come to think of it, I'm sorry I even started it, it really doesn't belong here. So please don't mistake my lack of further reaction to your post as a lack of respect for your thoughts and opinion - it is not.

[Streetboat]

Also, slender is scary because of the drums.

Yep, definitely the drums.

[failedALIAS]

Good idea for the story! I always knew that unicorns are evil... 0.o

Get the fuck out. Your thoughts are bad, and you should feel bad!

---

I personally like the story! It's simple, and sometimes the most effective horror is. However, it doesn't seem like English is your first language, so before you release it make sure to get someone to edit it for you.

Well, at least I know why story in custom stories have dropped so much in quality, standards are so low.
Never, would this be a good story.

People think that whatever surprises them is a fucking masterpiece.
Basically, I want to become a Joker-style terrorist, give them something to be really afraid of.

[CorinthianMerchant]

I thought this was a MLP thread...

[Robby]

I thought this was a MLP thread...

Same here. The mods would've been angered if it was.