Bad Friends [short custom story]

[lilith]

Hi everybody,

Today I'd like to show you my first map - little custom story.
I need beta testers
I know it's not perfect, because just like I said - I need people [not only beta testers..]
That map shows a part of what I can. ;]

I'd like to make a story with incredible atmosphere, nice jumpscares, puzzles, fun moments.. I'd like to use new models...

DOWNLOAD CUSTOM STORY
http://www.sendspace.com/file/5jn71p

Screens







http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/8637/22153526.png
That two links contains the same file. They are only mirrors. Please notice that this is only a beta [ rather alpha ;] ] version of my custom story

For those who don't know how to install custom story.
Just unpack it in folder 'custom_stories' which should be in [your amnesia folder/redist]. Now turn on the game, choose profile and click custom story. There you should find mine which is called "Bad Friends".

..I'm not trolling and I'm serious..

If you want to help visit my another topic: http://www.frictionalgames.com/forum/thread-18145.html
You should find there all needed informations ; )

All comments are welcome

Thanks for answers

[Robby]

The mods are currently offline, so you may need to wait until they come back. I will notify the first mod that I happen to catch.

[Ongka]

No screenshots = no download.
Simple as that.

You may attach them to your post or link to them using imgur or whatever.

[Robby]

You may edit the name of this thread. Your other thread is opened.

EDIT: Ok, that's better.

[lilith]

screens uploaded, name of thread changed. ; )

[Robby]

Ok. Much better now.

It is a rar package containing 4 pics. They are interesting enough. Will give this a go tomorrow (if I get the time).

[Traggey]

imageshack.us

Upload images there and post links.

[lilith]

thanks =]

[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Just played this for a bit and...how do I put this... well if it's supposed to be a masterpiece then you still have a lot of work to do I think. I'll just list things in the order I noticed them.

First of all: Reading the introduction text and the first note I found, it seemed to me like English isn't your first language. That's okay, it's not my first language either, but still, you might want to have a native speaker help you with the texts. Because if you want to immerse the player into a scary atmosphere, it really hurts if your texts are full of grammatical errors - especially when some sentences don't even make any sense. ("Feel free in this climate prison"?) It just makes them unintentionally funny and makes it really hard to take them as seriously as the setting demands, y' know?

Also what on earth is a "climate prison"? A prison with an air conditioning system?

Second thing is the story in general... I have to admit I didn't get very far, but even the first note already confused me:

Spoiler below!

Apparently my friends/drinking buddies put me in a prison because they hate me (for whatever reason, I guess finding that out is the point of the story), but then again they say it's all just a joke and they'll come and get me out again soon? I don't get it....

It probably gets clearer later, but I don't know it just seems somewhat incoherent.

Third thing is the lighting. I'm not an expert on this, but it looks very unrealistic and way too dark. Having a pitch-black corner here and there is okay, but if I light every candle in a room and also have a big fire right in the middle of it it just looks unrealistic if the areas inbetween the lights are still completely dark.

Fourth thing: pacing. I mean...come on. I play for exactly 10 seconds and are already encountering a water monster? (And there's not even water around) Not sure though, it could also have been a bug. Maybe it saw me through a wall when it wasn't supposed to or something.
Also the second monster encounter is just not very...clever. I mean

Spoiler below!

I unlock a door and get almost immediately killed from behind? It wasn't even a good jumpscare, just a needless immersion-killer. If you look at the original Amnesia, you'll notice there are some jumpscares, yes, but extremely few situations where the player is actually in danger of dying.

This is for good reason, because player death kills the tension and the sense of presence the player has in the game. What happens in your case is this: I get killed the first time because the situation is hard to get out of if you don't know what to expect. Okay, let's say the jumpscare was effective and I jumped out of my chair from that. What now? I'm dead and have to restart, now knowing what to expect. That's not how you create atmosphere and immersion, that's just trial and error. The goal should be to scare the player while keeping him in a constant game-flow as long as possible...

Sorry if this all sounds a bit harsh, I do not mean to be an asshole or something. I just want to help

[lilith]

First of all.
Yes, english isn't my first language so I'm sorry for all mistakes.
All 'story' is only added to present the map. This is the first version, alpha version.


'We will come back soon' - it's only a sarcasm. Yeah, everybody thinks 'oh no, it's a water monster' No! It's only a sound and water monster can go like normal grunt on the floor - not only on water. So it seems that I should change the music. ;p
Ok, I'll correct the lightning.

It's all right. I put that custom story there so people like you can test it and comment. I need that comments to remove bugs and mistakes on the map.

I made that changes and reupload custom story.

ps. if that monster killed you, you starts from beginning [I haven't made checkpoints.] but that monster won't appear again.