Screenshots of a Custom Story I'm Making

**Zaffre** · 09-10-2012, 12:18 AM

IMPORTANT EDIT: I decided I didn't want to make custom stories for now. I'm keeping my works stored away, but you won't see anything in the future for a long time.

Hi. After scrapping Rising Water, I decided to try again at making a custom story. The story, in a nutshell: You are Thomas, who has worked as a carriage driver for a long time. You purchase a mansion from a man named Gerald, and borrow a carriage from a neighbor at your old house, load your luggage on, and leave for the mansion. You get unpacked and settled, and return the carriage, then finish up work for the day. You decide to walk back home, as an eerie fog settles over the forest.

I've been working for a while on the story and I wanted some feedback from the community on how it looks thus far. I've snapped some screenshots.

Spoiler below!

What do you think?

**Froge** · 09-10-2012, 12:51 AM

rooms need moar stuff

**Zaffre** · 09-10-2012, 01:03 AM

Could you please go more into detail? I'm not sure which rooms need more things to occupy the empty space. Oh, and I took corner screenshots, so some things didn't show up. For instance, in the bedroom, there's a desk behind me which you can't see.

**i3670** · 09-10-2012, 01:16 AM

Just a headsup: This thread will probably be moved.

But anyway, I'm not completely sold on the 2-tone roof in the first screenshot. 2nd screenshot needs more detail, decals, particles etc. Also if there was a cave in there would most likely be vibrations and therefore I don't think the candelabra should stand up. This goes for the 3rd and 4th screenshot also. Decals, particles, ornaments and also roof height, feels cramped.

Then there is the planes. 2 words. Tile amount. I would suggest something in the line with 0.5 or 0.7.

Sorry if I seem like an ass but I'm just putting it out there.

**Adny** · 09-10-2012, 01:18 AM

(09-10-2012, 01:03 AM)Zaffre Wrote: Could you please go more into detail? I'm not sure which rooms need more things to occupy the empty space. Oh, and I took corner screenshots, so some things didn't show up. For instance, in the bedroom, there's a desk behind me which you can't see.

Furniture, ornaments, area rugs (found under static_objects\ornaments), decals (mostly dirt_floor1-3), Particle systems such as fog (use with caution, check out how they used it in Justine) and light dust, various lamps and support structures* such as support beams that run along the walls or ceiling. Windows should almost always have curtains, and should always have billboards (again, use with caution, these are extremely easy to mess up if you don't know what you're doing).

* = Only use if your room is more than 4 units tall (1 wall); if it's 1 wall + concave ceiling peice or higher, you should be using a support structure.

A few of my rules when it comes to detailing:

-Try to create a scene in a broken/run down environment, as though something happened in a specific spot.

-Break symmetry: If a room is somewhat symmetrical (in terms of the items you place inside it, not necessarily shape), having one side normal and another side messed up can contribute to my previous point of creating a scene. I.E. You have 2 tables, one on each side of the room; one table is upright and has various books on it, the other is flipped over and has books on the floor around it.

- Try to use something from most entity folders in a room; there is bound to be something in most folders that can fit into it, no matter what base/theme you're promoting in that area

-Think about cause and effect; if there's a hole in the ceiling, there will be debris on the ground under it. Simple stuff like that allows the player to psychologically get more immersed in the game as opposed to an environment where subtle things like that are missing and don't make sense.

I could write multiple walls of text going into even greater detail, but for now I think this will suffice Big Grin

**Zaffre** · 09-10-2012, 02:22 AM

Thanks for the feedback. I'll make sure to change a lot of things around.

**HumiliatioN** · 09-10-2012, 04:58 AM

Yes I know you made your best and it's okay just need more detail immediately too much emptyness I sense here.

Don't give up, keep working change things after day an day.

**FlawlessHappiness** · 09-11-2012, 04:49 PM

And 1 thing... Where did those big rocks come from??? I mean, from the sky? Think about how tall this building is. Is there a second floor?

**Robby** · 09-11-2012, 05:01 PM

The title needs a little fixing.

*looks at screenshots* Pretty good. I wouldn't be able to create an environment as good as that.

**KingWolf** · 09-11-2012, 05:12 PM

(09-11-2012, 05:01 PM)Nemet Robert Wrote: I wouldn't be able to create an environment as good as that.

Since "Nightmare-making" is your talent...