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Out of the closet
Froge Offline
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#1
Out of the closet

"BURN THE HETEROSEXUAL!" The mob chanted as Dogfood was dragged into the centre of town. There was a giant pole and a pile of dry wood at its base which had been soaked in oil. The mob leader grabbed Dogfood and tied his arms behind his back with a tight piece of rope.

Dogfood's eyes went wide with fear as he saw the cloaked man take out a match.

"REPENT!" The crowd continued to yell while the mob leader pulled back his hood.

"Kman! You won't get away with this!" Dogfood screamed.

"You have sinned," Kman responded condescendingly. "You have committed an unnatural act. It is an abomination."

"It's not unnatural!" Dogfood cried. He tried without success to break free from his restraints. The mob leader lifted him up against the pole and began tying his legs.

"Heterosexuality is a sin," Kman continued. "It is filthy and impure. It spreads the deadliest of diseases: embryonation."

The crowd gasped.

"BURN THE HERETIC! BURN DOWN THE HETEROSEXUAL!"

A flame became lit. Dogfood closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.

"Any last words?"

"REPENT! REPENT!" The ever-growing cries of the crowd insisted.

He was going to die anyway. There was no reason for him to submit.

"I love women," Dogfood declared as he clenched his teeth. "And sleeping with women is normal. It doesn't hurt anybody. So why do you care so much?"

A slap across the face.

"It is disgusting. You will burn forever," Kman condemned. "Every man knows that sex with a woman is an intolerable act of depravity."

"I HAVE NO REGRETS."

The match fell, and the flames rose immediately. Smoke consumed all of Dogfood's form.

"In the name of THE LORD," Kman began, and all eyes turned towards the great spinning frog head in the sky, "I hereby condemn you to death and eternal suffering!"

The frog head continued spinning, seemingly heedless of the actions of humanity below.

:^)

[Image: p229xcq]
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2014, 11:25 PM by Statyk.)
06-25-2014, 02:16 AM
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Nice Offline
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#2
RE: Out of the closet

In the distant future i will be worshipped like a god, hailed like a hero. My name will be the name people will scream on heterosexual pride parade!

HETEROPHOBE!


Sorry but we cannot change your avatar as the new avatar you specified is too big. The maximum dimensions are 80x80 (width x height)
06-25-2014, 10:28 AM
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7heDubz Offline
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#3
RE: Out of the closet

On an extremely related note.




(This post was last modified: 06-25-2014, 11:10 AM by 7heDubz.)
06-25-2014, 11:10 AM
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Ghieri Offline
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#4
RE: Out of the closet

Of course Kman is behind this.

The sneaky bastard.

[Image: tumblr_n6m5lsQThQ1qc99nxo1_250.gif]
06-25-2014, 12:06 PM
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Red Offline
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#5
RE: Out of the closet

If coming out of closet means you confess being gay, would confessing that you went in a closet mean you're straight?
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2014, 01:13 PM by Red.)
06-25-2014, 01:12 PM
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MrWhitticus Offline
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#6
RE: Out of the closet

Ellen hides in the closet for three hours

*Careless Whisper saxophone solo*
06-25-2014, 01:20 PM
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Kman Offline
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#7
RE: Out of the closet

kill hetero scum

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06-25-2014, 02:23 PM
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Nice Offline
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#8
RE: Out of the closet

(06-25-2014, 02:23 PM)Kman Wrote: kill hetero scum

btch come on, 1v1


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06-25-2014, 02:33 PM
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Froge Offline
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#9
RE: Out of the closet

(06-25-2014, 11:10 AM)I AM THE WIWWMSTER Wrote: On an extremely related note.




Yep, seen this video before and enjoyed it.


(06-25-2014, 01:12 PM)Red Wrote: If coming out of closet means you confess being gay, would confessing that you went in a closet mean you're straight?

A ⇒ B ≠ ¬A ⇒ ¬B

[Image: p229xcq]
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2014, 03:17 PM by Froge.)
06-25-2014, 03:16 PM
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CorinthianMerchant Offline
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#10
RE: Out of the closet

[Image: MGzVEGi]

Kman confirmed as literally the patriarchy...

Still hasn't gotten over the loss of wubwub...
06-26-2014, 10:52 PM
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