Help for computer addiction.

**Red** · 02-13-2015, 11:00 AM

Firstly I've to say I am not the victim; my friend is, and he won't leave his house, unless the business is work related. He has this attitude that rejects everything and puts being on a PC as first prioritite. He's never come to parties, although he's invited, used to come to friend meetings - not anymore. I could talk all day about what he is and isn't, but these aspects concerns me the most. Any help?

~~ingentersed~~ · 02-13-2015, 11:21 AM

Cut his electricity supply from a minor fault and make it like you can fix it but can't do without ur tool. Try to be with him for a long to let him not be bored at any time and make sure let no one would catch a talk about electricity.

You may use that time for playing games, joying or parties as well and you may repeat it day by day if you want Wink

**Romulator** · 02-13-2015, 11:45 AM

Has he recently purchased a game or software and dedicating himself to it? A similar thing happens to me where I pretty much obsess with it until completion, which really takes its toll on my social, educational and scheduled life. If this is the case, it's really just a phase. However much satisfaction the software provides to him will determine how long the phase lasts.

I recommend, if you're quite worried with him, to see if you can isolate him from the computer or other devices to just have a brief talk with him to explain your concerns. He may or may not want to hear about it, but people don't know something is affecting others until they are aware.

**i3670** · 02-13-2015, 01:14 PM

Let him live his life instead of yours?

**FlawlessHappiness** · 02-13-2015, 01:47 PM

What kind of things are prioritized over others, if not parties?

Everything else seems to describe me.
I'm on the computer at least 5 hours a day. (Sleep 8 hours and school 8 hours. Rest is eating and homework)

Where I am right now, parties suck. There's no reason to go there.

I don't have a huge amount of friends, but those I have I talk to on the computer. It's just my place to be.
So the above question is the most interesting one.

**Traggey** · 02-13-2015, 03:19 PM

I don't go to parties and the likes either, never have, I just don't enjoy being around big crowds of people like that.

He might simply be somewhat anti-social like me, which isn't necesarily a dangerous thing.

**Red** · 02-13-2015, 04:09 PM

Now you're tutning it like it's completely okay to reject your friends and spend your life in front of a monitor. Well, that would be his way of life - I understand it - but it's rude no matter which angle I look it at. He's not a bad guy, no no, but it would be nice to see his face in a while, spent some time doing something else. When I look 5 or 6 years back, it wasn't like this: he at least dared to show his face in public, he used to spend time outside his cave.

**CarnivorousJelly** · 02-13-2015, 04:27 PM

Does he have any multiplayer games on his computer?
Ask if you can play them with him to socialize, slowly integrate other elements ("hey, wanna grab pizza/more friends and play mariokart?").

People's interests change over years - and you're comparing now to five years ago; that's a long time. Also, you haven't specified but, maybe he's got something else going on in life right now and computer's just the best escape for him. Best thing to do in that case would be his friend. Don't necessarily "enable" his computer habits, but don't push him too hard or he'll push you away instead.

**i3670** · 02-13-2015, 04:55 PM

It's still HIS choice to stay at his monitor. It's HIS choice if he wants to go outside or not. "but it would be nice to see his face in a while" for you. You have to keep in mind that he does not exist for your sake, he exists for his sake. As a result his choices (in this case playing computer) should not be connected to what you want him to do, unless he accepts your suggestion as something he can whole-heartedly accept.

It is completely okay to alienate your friends as long as that is something you can come to terms with.

**Mudbill** · 02-13-2015, 05:36 PM

Yeah... See, one thing is if he just wants to stay alone at his computer. It's another thing if he wants to join people but doesn't feel like he fits in, or he's uncomfortable or just socially awkward. In that case it might be nice to try to help him but don't force yourself into his life. Maybe he just prefers being alone. It's not really your business if he does.

I can see you get worried, but are you worried for his health or for your friendship? Unless he's intentionally hurting himself, his health is his own deal, eh? As for your friendship, if you're worried about it, you should talk to him about it.