(11-01-2013, 08:19 PM)Kreekakon Wrote: I think it's actually a subconscious ego issue. When you see people your inner mind deems...well inferior...your subconscious will tell itself that treating this person as an equal will raise his social status, and in turn diminish one source of a sense of superiority that you are getting from this person being inferior to you.
This is also one reason I think many unpopular people once they have established themselves as unpopular have trouble getting back in the fray, because everyone else will subconsciously be unwilling to give up the superiority in status they have over them currently.
Completely irrational way for us to think, but that's how it often works for ourselves whether we like it or not. It's how my brain runs anyways, and it sucks.
Like I know a bunch of people who are definitely very good people, and yet I am irritated when they come talk to me.
This is almost accurate info, but the reason why you get irritated is not only conscious but fully rational. To say more it's of utmost importance for you and anyone with such problems (at least according to general psychology since more parameters must be taken into account) to focus on not taking that into consideration. Once we build an idea onto our brain and start believing it, which takes time and experience you'll guide yourself by it which has no advantage at all in your case and will make social integration harder for you(not judging nor saying I know). The deepest truth is actually that we're all equal to the point we care to be. If you put aside these thoughts and start believing in a new idea/ideal you'll notice that the feeling conscious or not of being superior/inferior to someone starts to vanish and you'll be more comfortable around people.
Diagnosing how this would work or not can be easy certain things are generalized(which might or might not be accurate to you). As a fast test you can look at your attitude in a diversified group, such as classmates or work colleagues or any musical group you might be in and look at how confortable you are near them. If you sometimes are denied by some inner rationality to talk or express an idea, do a certain motion, dress in a certain way or just being judged in general by being exactly who you are that means that you most likely and again generalizing some factors fight that with your mind and mold it accordingly. If any of you suffers from these, what I'd recommend to anyone who told me that would be go past the point in which you feel comfortable, this is do, what you feel irrationally you shouldn't. Crossing this barrier is actually the most important step into believing anything.
This actually happens quite frequently to introverts since they tend to spend more time inside their minds and maybe rationalize what they do more often than just doing what they feel like doing. This way they start to question their action building frequently a shell around them which is merely a rationalization of everything you do. You don't do anything without consciously knowing what you are going to do. Fixing this is as simple as letting some things go past your conscious being. Example is: You feel like farting, you fart.; Instead of: You feel like farting, you think if you should fart, you dont fart.
And with this I'm not saying you shouldn't think things trough. I'm saying most things become easier and probably your overall happiness will increase if you start behaving as yourself and not as you believe you should be behaving.
"This is also one reason I think many unpopular people once they have established themselves as unpopular have trouble getting back in the fray"
This is true and the more time you are whatever it is the more you get used to it and the harder it becomes to change that. Base cause for this is that your neural pathways develop according to how much they are used. Easiest way to fight whatever it is your fighting is by doing it now and not tomorrow.
I hit several spots here, some may not be an answer to you but after what I read I believe they might reach their destinations.
Today I dreamt the life I could live forever. You only know that when you feel it for you know not what you like until you've experienced it.
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