Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.
Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St.
Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philsopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked,"Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair."Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole." And the idiot went to heaven.
(This post was last modified: 05-22-2014, 07:58 PM by Red.)
(05-22-2014, 11:43 PM)I AM THE WIWWMSTER Wrote: This Humor is dark. And listed as such. Dead Baby Jokes
Spoiler below!
Q ~ How do you get 10 babies in a blender?
A ~ Puree
Q ~ How do you get them back out?
A ~ Tortilla chips
Now should anyone find any appeal in these I can continue on with the dark humor. Or I can just leave this thread forever.
I think they're funny
Spoiler below!
2 blondes walk down a road.
They come across a mirror lying on the road.
One of the blondes pick up the mirror and looks in it with a confused look on her face.
The other blonde says: "What's the matter?"
The blonde with the mirror says: "There's something familiar about this... but I'm not sure why".
"Give it to me", the other says and takes the mirror.
She looks in it, and suddenly starts laughing.
"Oh you silly... That's me!"
For the record, I personally don't care how dark or offensive you may get. Again, it's a joke. I think if someone doesn't like it, they can leave the thread... Lay 'em on us.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2014, 03:05 AM by Statyk.)
(05-23-2014, 03:04 AM)Statyk Wrote: For the record, I personally don't care how dark or offensive you may get. Again, it's a joke. I think if someone doesn't like it, they can leave the thread... Lay 'em on us.
I'll change the OP accordingly for that then. Glad you could clarify
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