Help for computer addiction.

**Nice** · 02-13-2015, 05:59 PM

social awkwardness can be solved through practise

**Red** · 02-13-2015, 06:07 PM

My worry is that he he cannot move on with his life. He still lives with his retired, over caring parents, he has no car, no license, no hobbies besides gaming, no future plans, nothing. He's struggling to become intependend. But if he wants to stay like that, I'll let him be, if you say so. I completely understand if he's not ready yet.

**Froge** · 02-13-2015, 06:23 PM

I'm on the side of intervention here. If he isn't self-sufficient and is neglecting his friends, then there's clearly a problem.

How direct do you think you can be? What if you just tell him that he needs to get out, or else he's just a burden on society and its resources?

**FlawlessHappiness** · 02-13-2015, 06:24 PM

It'd be nice to have an age on him ^_^
How old is he?

**i3670** · 02-13-2015, 06:35 PM

(02-13-2015, 06:23 PM)Rainfroge Wrote: I'm on the side of intervention here. If he isn't self-sufficient and is neglecting his friends, then there's clearly a problem.

How direct do you think you can be? What if you just tell him that he needs to get out, or else he's just a burden on society and its resources?

However, is that a decision to be made by his friends or his parents?

**Red** · 02-13-2015, 06:37 PM

@Froge I've never said that to him, but I think he would just get mad as he always does, when we talk about the issue in private or in a bigger group.

He's 20.

**Kreekakon** · 02-14-2015, 01:10 AM

He's 20 years old so that's more than the age that he should be able to make his own decisions on what to do with his life.

He doesn't need to have a dream though. He doesn't even need to have a purpose in life if that's what he wants. All he needs to be sure of is what he WANTS to do with his life.

If you're concerned go talk with him about it and lay out onto the table the various aspects of his current life style and what it may lead to as well as alternatives to consider. A very important thing to keep in mind though is that when you're doing this talk is that you are guiding him towards what he wants instead of what you want him to be.

Perhaps even more important is the context of what he wants. Remind him this and make sure he understands it: There is usually a gigantic difference between what you truly want deep down inside compared to what you think you want. Many people usually can't come to terms on this fact (Even I usually can't)

To put it in a more specific example, he might "believe" that he is content with playing video games everyday without an agenda, but deep down inside he may be experiencing a nagging sensation at the back of his head that this is not what he really wants to do with his life. He may just not be willing to accept this fact because coming to terms with it would actually mean putting forth the effort to realizing it, and why do that when you can trick yourself into thinking playing video games is all fine and dandy?

What I just said may not even be the case as it is just an example and guess, but it is still very important to discover the distinction. Even if he doesn't tell you he himself has to know. If he doesn't come to terms with it he won't be truly happy with the current life style he leads.

However if he is certain this is what he wants, and he is fine with how things are going then that is his choice to make.